Tag: Survivor

N - No Longer a Victim

N – No Longer a Victim

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen


Whether you are the person that lost yourself, faced brokenness, lost your voice, were beaten, were molested, faced assault of any kind, face being hurt with intent, or anything in between you were once a victim.


I faced much from being forced to do unspeakable acts to being physically and sexually assaulted. This is my truth that I share to you. There is much more than could be shared, but we will keep the past brief as the future is much more important.


You see, when you were living in pain, you were forced to become a person that you were surely not happy with. Perhaps, like me, you felt torn apart, like you had no value, like your opinions and/or feelings didn’t matter. Maybe you felt like you became another person to make someone else comfortable, unbothered, or calm… None of this is fair and I can assure you that I can relate to you in one way or another. 


At some point, you have to realize that you are no longer a victim. 
– If you have already done this, I applaud you and send you the warmest of hugs on the greatest change that has occurred in your life. I promise that you still have growing to do and thoughts of the past will arise (I know this from experience), but you have put in some serious work and have taught yourself some truly valuable life and love lessons.


– If you have not done this already, your time is now. You can Break Your Silence Against Domestic Violence or whatever you may have faced in your past. You ARE NO LONGER A VICTIM, I speak that (out loud) on your life right now.


I freely speak freedom on your life because I know how it feels to be bound to your pain. You, in this very moment, have to power to gain your freedom and live in it.


Freedom is a release of all that may have hurt you or held you back in some form. 


You have to make the choice and consistent decision to say:
I am no longer a victim. 
I am no longer going to allow my past to hurt me. 
The lessons that my past ( the Universe and/or God) taught me are for my good.
My past does not control my future.
What I faced will not stop me.
I may have dealt with that, but I can still have anything that I want in my life.


For me when I faced homelessness, brokenness, deep pain, hopelessness, and a loss of self, I could not see anything but that. I had to learn and re-learn all that I could have in my life. God promised me (and you) a life of prosperity. I had to decide again and again to chose me.


You MUST reclaim your power. You must make the decision to stop being a victim and move into the realms of being a survivor; this is only step one. For every moment that you allow your past to reign over you or any aspect of your life, you lose another significant moment of happiness, peace, and living in your greatest purpose.


I’m not making light of anything that you have faced, as I know pain and have spoken to/mentored many people in their quest to be free and live a positively evolved life. What I am saying is that you have to choose yourself over and over again; this is the only way that you can truly be free. 


I lived as a victim more years than one. I lived as a victim and the pain weighed more than a ton. I lived as victim through perceived obligation and force. Now I have changed my life for the better, never to return to that broken obstacle course. #btsadv #KayLasPositivityCorner


No more making excuses about how you can’t do things because you were hurt. It is time for you to take control.


If I can go through rounds of pain for years, find myself, then fall again, find myself then make excuses for my abuserS, then find myself again and crawl out of the dust to get to where I am – now a Master of Public Health that graduated with a well-deserved 4.0 making the President’s List twice, an empowerment via holistic health blogger, and the managing director at Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence, you can do absolutely anything that you put your mind to. You are no longer a victim, so stop behaving as such. Proclaim that you are free and start fighting for want you want and deserve in you life. Need an accountability partner? I will help you and you can help me.


This message is so strong and so important to me that we have to hit the bible three times!


Psalms 9:9
“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” God has been there for you even if you didn’t know it or feel His presence. When you were going through your rough patches, He was implanting love and strength in you. It is your time to act on all that you have learn; welcome God into this new part of your journey and remember that you are no longer a victim and you must start acting/living like it.


The Universe activates what you think about and act on. If you are telling yourself that you are living in low spaces or thoughts as you are because of what you experienced, guess what thoughts and feelings will surround you? Brokenness and inability to change you life for the better. Be encouraged starting right now and change everything because you deserve it. Speak it out loud, it is being heard!


Psalms 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” You are no longer a victim, God is binding your wounds, putting you through perfect surgery. What are you doing with your healing? How are you living? How do you feel? If you are not shaking everything up and working on bettering your life and living in your highest purpose, you are doing yourself a great disservice! You better start making changes because no matter what you faced, no one can change your future except you. 


2 Timothy 1:7
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Tell your giants (your past pain and anything that binds you) that it is time go! Knock your walls down! If you haven’t made changes, turned things around for your good, or loosed whatever has hurt you, you may be living in fear but that is not what God has promised you. He gave you so much more…so what are you doing with it? If you haven’t done anything with that knowledge, I dare you to start today! “You are the seed by faith received, the blessing of Abraham – it’s your inheritance, get your inheritance!” -Donald Lawrence


I said it before and I say it again SURVIVORS, YOU ARE NO LONGER VICTIMS SO ACT LIKE IT! I believe in you and I know that you are going to have so many great things come your way if you have faith, believe in yourself, and act on what you want.


You are living, so start doing so! Dream big… I do! Why dream small when you can have it all?


Be blessed and be at peace.
#KayLasPositivityCorner


***Health Spotlight***
National Public Health Week #NPHW #NPHW2019 #IDWP


Healthy Communities: We all deserve access to high-quality, compassionate care, but this is not always the case for many communities. Do what you can to create a shift in this in your own neighborhood via volunteer efforts or anything that calls to your heart. It will make a true difference.


Violence Prevention: What you and your children watch, hear, listen to on the radio, read about etc. affects everything that you do. Speak peace, bridge gaps faced, do whatever you can to heal people around you, you may just save a life. We can all do our part here.


Rural Health: You can act positively here and work to bridge gaps in healthcare. Build a program, share your ideas with organizations, volunteer, contribute, do whatever it takes to bring health to all people. People living in urban areas should have the same access as others; if we collaborate and keep our hearts intact we can create a positive and long-lasting impact in healthcare.


Technology and Public Health: The world is changing and advancing rapidly, bringing care to people can mean the use of technology. I am building a program to bridge a gap in dv, what are you doing to make a shift using what you know and are an expert in?


Global Health: We walk through life often complaining about what we face big or small. How often do you think about the world? Global health is so important to me because I frequently think about people what others are facing: no access to care, drought, disease, homelessness, etc. This world has over 7 billion people living in it. If you can help one person, one community, one state in health care, think about how much you have done and how many others will be positively impacted. 


You have the power to create positive changes all around you. Start digging to find out how. Live in your positive purpose today and forever. The world needs you. Use your lessons from the days of being a victim to empower and change the world today.






Victim, Survivor, Empowerment, Mental Health, Public Health, Epidemiology, Evolving, Overcome, Determination, Community, Growth, Happiness, Manifest, Mindfulness, Domestic Violence, Strength, Success, Support, Universe, God, Bible

J- Jewels in Your Life

J- Jewels in Your Life

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen


For every bad thing that you encounter or endured there is something beautiful to be seen or understood.


Lessons learned in life can be so difficult and I could never make light of anything that anyone faces, but I will say that there is a reason for your circumstances.


Whether we are talking about an abusive relationship that you have overcome, an amazing job that you have had your eye on, a love that you lost, or anything in between there is a lesson to be learned from each situation/circumstance.


I know that you have learned and know very well that all that glitters isn’t gold, but do you also know that there are jewels to be discovered and appreciated in your darkest of days and clearest of nights?


Everything that you go through has a meaning, you have to understand that the lesson no matter how difficult it may be to receive is a blessing for you.


I want you to think about these lessons as the jewels in your life. If this means that you have to put on your hypothetical rose colored glasses (only for a moment) to see the positivity in your situation, do it. 


Challenge yourself to take a journey through your mind, heart, body, and soul- give your situations, storms, circumstances a “full body scan” so to speak, and think about the why and work without giving up to understand the lesson.


When you wear your favorite accessory or piece of jewelry, you do so because it makes you feel a sense of happiness right? Shouldn’t your life’s lessons give you a sense of happiness after they have been learned?


Think about all of the things that make your life grand, beautiful, and worth living even when your heart is feeling heavy – this is easier said than done, but is very much worth it.


Take note and think about all of the jewels in your life: lessons, peace, happiness, family, kids, friends, education, successes, business, gifts and talents.


To the Bible & Universe We Go!


Proverbs 20:15
“There is gold and abundance of costly stones, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.” You don’t have to own jewels, gems, or stones to understand how gorgeous and precious they are. Your mind, body, and soul are precious jewels. Evolution of your mind is more precious than jewels; your knowledge is your life’s glimmering light.


The Universe gifts you with lessons, experiences, wisdom, knowledge, opportunities, and values to be appreciated. Each of which are grand, beautiful, and a wonderful part of your life. Take the time to understand this and be joyful in it.


Isaiah 62:3
“You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of God.” You are absolutely amazing and truly a jewel; your value and worth are high on the list my dear. Take a hint and work to bless your own life and all of those around you by wearing your jewels that life and God have given you.


***Health Spotlight***
I love the idea of traveling so why not address global issues. 🙂


Japanese Encephalitis
Symptoms: fever, headache, vomiting, weakness, possibility of movement disorders, and mental status changes.
Prevalence: less than one percent infected with the virus develop clinical illness (CDC)  Twenty to thirty percent of those who develop encephalitis die; 30-50% of survivors have continued cognitive, neurologic and psychiatric symptoms.
Prevention: a vaccine is recommended for those traveling to an endemic area and will be there for over a month or a shorter period if someone will be outside of an urban area.
Treatment: symptomatic- includes rest, fluids, pain reliever and fever reducing medication.

Blessings, Challenges, Character, Courage, Determination, Drive, Empowerment, Faith, Fighting, God, Growth, Law of Attraction, Public Health, Mental Health, Epidemiology, Strength, Survivor


G - Giving Just Enough

G – Giving Just Enough

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen


I give too much…
I give too little…
I give just enough…
Are you giving enough according to what you believe, practice, and value?


How many times have you told yourself that you were going to give something your all?
How often do you stick to giving that “thing” you all?


How often have you only giving something a bit of your effort because you weren’t really concerned about it?
When you did that, did you find even more disappointment or go back and wish that you had given it more effort?


Have you given too much of yourself to someone or something? When you do this, you can leave yourself with emptiness, lost hope, brokenness, and lost will to even love yourself or make yourself happy.


How about this?… Have you ever given just enough effort/time?


Who says that enough isn’t enough? I can’t tell you who first said it, but you can start saying when enough IS enough.


You see, for everything that you delve into whether it is a new job, school, writing a book, building a home, buying a car and everything in between you can say when enough is enough.


What does enough mean?


Amazing and wonderfully, your life is your own- meaning it is unique and no one else can live your life. God built a specific life for you to lead. The Universe works in your favor in accordance to what you do, think, practice, and meditate on; it shapes things for you.


Since your life is uniquely put together shouldn’t you be the one to say when enough is good enough?


Let’s think about this a little deeper…


1. You must be mindful and aware of your actions and behavior. Saying that people should accept you for who you are does not apply if you are choosing to be immature, ignorant, foolish, prideful, or negative. Be aware that enough is enough applies in this one if you are being your best self.


2. When taking on a new endeavor of any sort, you must determine what is enough. If giving your all is enough, stick to that and do not give up. You see, you can’t start off giving what is enough to you and then one day decide that you are tired of doing that (without seeking positive change first). You are in charge…so what’ll it be?


3. In a relationship, again you determine what is enough. Truly take self-inventory before you decide what is enough, though. Are you being a good listener, compassionate helper, cheerful giver, etc.? If you are, then you are doing enough…don’t let anyone make you feel or think that you are not doing enough or that you are not good enough at your core. Don’t be afraid to Break The Silence and claim your excellence; your live is yours and you do not have to prove yourself to anyone.


4. Give enough to everyone that you encounter. You were granted tools and also have been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. For every person that you run into, you have something to give. Give from your heart whether it is in words, a story, a smile, or your business card…do what you can to give enough. This can be connected to giving back to your community or an organization like Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence; give what you can, volunteer, run for a cause, support a mission, help your friend/neighbor…simply give enough according to your heart. Everything happens for a reason, so make the most of the meeting, mission, or conversation. 


5. Giving enough to your family is equally defined by you. Do not burn yourself out; if you need to do something for yourself and have the ability to do so, practice self-care regularly. This can mean a walk, pampering, reading, meditating, exercising or anything else that makes you feel at peace. Schedule your love and care for your family and yourself; you need it and deserve it. 


The moral of the story is that for everything and everyone in your life you are in full power of determining what is enough. You must take the time to understand what that looks like and execute whatever it takes to achieve that. You do not have to push yourself so far that you lose sight of yourself or get to a point where you are feeling empty or broken- you deserve so much better than that.


Matthew 6:21
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Think about it, if you are giving enough and happy with what you are putting in, the action is directly connected your heart and can literally give you a sense of fulfillment. Even if you aren’t in the place of where you aim to be, you can embody that sense by planning out all that you aim to do; work to truly feel how you would if you were already at that level of success or happiness.


Proverbs 10:4
“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Think about what you consider to be enough, are you truly putting in the effort that you need to? Is your enough, your work, your push, your mission going to bring you success at the level or space that you are actively living in? God gave and is still giving and revealing to you gifts, angels, words of wisdom, lessons, values, and places to be amazing…are you really giving enough?


The Universe is a place and part of you that is defined by you, your actions, and everything that lives inside of you.


So….I’ll ask you again are you giving enough?


Be blessed and be at peace.
#KayLas Positivity Corner


***Health Spotlight*** Gonorrhea 
Prevalence: this STD can infect anyone that is sexually (vaginal, anal, or oral) active- ejaculation does not have to occur to get the infection. Pregnant women can possibly pass the infection their babies during delivery. According to the CDC there are an estimated 820,000 people infected with gonoccoal infections every year in the U.S.


Symptoms: (in men) burning sensation when urinating, white, yellow or green discharge from penis, painful or swollen testicles ; (in women) painful or burning sensation when urinating, increased vaginal discharge, vaginal bleeding between periods. Rectal infections:  can be asymptomatic or cause symptoms in men and women such as discharge, anal itching, soreness, bleeding, painful bowel movements. If you do not get treated pelvic inflammatory disease is possible (in women) and sterility in men, pain in testicles are possible; also, increased risk in getting HIV and life-threatening issues due to gonorrhea spreading to the blood or joints are possible.


Treatment: treatment can be difficult as there are some drug-resistant strains, but it can be cured with the right treatment. There is a form of dual therapy using two drugs to treat the infection; permanent damage cannot be reversed. If symptoms continue after finishing medication, you need to return to your physician/clinic.


Prevention: use condoms, know your sexual partner and their sexual and medical history, or don’t engage in any sexual encounters.


Giving Enough…
If you ever feel forced to have unprotected sex with someone, you may need to re-evaluate your situation and seek help from the authorities, if needed.  Giving enough in intimacy is definitely defined by both parties; do not push yourself into a realm that you are uncomfortable with. Protect yourself at all cost. Know that you do not have to go to a major physician (and pay a high out-of-pocket price) to get help, community health clinics are in many places. Talk to your friends and family about their health. Communities both near and far are impacted by the good and bad in health choices and delivery of care, so do what you can to bring tough conversations into the light. Seek the help that you need as soon as you need it. Talk to someone; talk to me, I will listen without judgment and help you in any way that I can. 


Let’s lead healthy, happy, prosperous, lives from the inside-out! We deserve it!





Barriers, Community, Empowerment, Epidemiology, Evolving, Friends, Global Health, Happiness, Goals, Meditation, Law of Attraction, Negativity, Opportunity, Passion, Survivor,  Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence, Vision, Warrior, Worthy, Public Health
Q-Quest

Q-Quest

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen


Life, though full of twists and turns, is a consistent a quest…a journey so
to speak.

No matter your route of education or training, you have gathered a substantial
amount of information in your life that has shaped and molded you into the
person that you are today.

Don’t let anything bind you to your circumstances. Your journey is only over
when breath has left your body for the final time. Each day you are granted a
new opportunity to take another step toward achieving your goals.

Treat your journey as something truly special and blessed, because it is. God
has given you many beautiful things that make you who you are and He is with
you on every step of your journey.

There will be nights when you sit up and cry. There will be days that you wish
would just end. There will be mornings when the sun is bright and shining and
feel like there is pure darkness all around. But guess what…Your journey will
not end there, unless you let it.

Your journey is made up of steps, obstacles and turns, and each one is
different. If one part or one day of journey seems absolutely unbearable does
that mean that God has left your side or that the universe is punishing
you?…no. You see, every step no matter how tough it is, is important.

If you have dealt with anything tough in your life, you know how it feels to be
broken, disappointed, discouraged, angry, depressed, aching, and so much more.
What I want you to do is think about a time in your past that you made it
through your pain…how did you do it? Did you hide? Did you fight? Did you
pray? Did you give up? 

You have to realize that no matter what you went through or what you are going
through now, your journey is still going on. You have an opportunity and a
chance to re-shape your life and add a better step to your journey.

No matter what you face, you can overcome it. God has a special plan for your
life; if ever feel like you can’t take that next step and all of a sudden you
hear a voice inside of your head/heart…listen to it. The universe and God
will send you signs when you need them most, don’t be blind to them.

Jeremiah 29:11
“For
I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Don’t
deny yourself the ability to fulfill your hopes, dreams, and destiny. God is
with you and the universe is busy at work in your favor. 

Stop questioning yourself and what you want you in life. You, very likely,
already know the answer. Take that next step and mold yourself into who you are
called to be. 

Even if you have been abused, molested, plagued with disease, or are living
with mental illness everything is for a reason. We learn how to cope and we
learn how to live within our journey, so that we can help someone else. Don’t
you get that? That does not mean that you get to sit in sorrow for all of the
days of your life, that means that must gain wisdom so that you can change the
world one person at a time.

Joshua 1:9
“Have
I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not
be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
No matter what
you are going through, your journey is not over…God is not leaving your side.
He is ever-present. Everything that you need, the universe will provide to you.
Are you scared
of your next step? Are you scared to continue your quest? Shake off those
feelings of fright because you will not always be in control of the timing in
your life. You must pace yourself and enjoy your journey.
Make the
changes that you need to continue on your quest in life. You deserve to reach
your goals, and you are responsible for the outcome after your stumbles along
the way. You are not stuck and you are not broken, you are healing and on a
quest for success.
***Health
Spotlight***
Your life is
not guaranteed to go on for 5, 50, or 100 years but everything that you do can
put you at risk of shortening your life. What you eat, how you live, your
social surroundings, etc. affect your life. If you say that you cannot do
something about your health because of your circumstances, it is time to make
some changes. Help is there if you need it. Change your diet and habits, so
that you can change your life. You can prevent disease a lot easier than you
can treat it. Nutrition is so important and your health is as well. Make no
more excuses; QUIT SMOKING, DRINKING, AND PARTYING, put down the cake, candy, soda, etc. and set limits for
yourself…your body and your family will thank you later.
Be blessed and
be at peace.
#KayLasPositivityCorner

Quest, Journey, Healing, Achievement, Ambition, Challenges, Abuse, Disease, Mental Health, Public Health, Physical Health, Bible, God, Universe, Positivity, Changes, Determination, Survivor, Strength, Global Health

The Sun Strength and Beauty in You

The Sun Strength and Beauty in You

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH
©KayLaN.Allen

If you wish to overcome your situation, moved beyond obstacles, and change your life, you must be able to acknowledge your circumstances and be willing to make the changes necessary to reach to the next level. You know who you are, now what will you do with that knowledge?
James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:12 “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
Be blessed and be at peace.
#KayLasPositivityCorner

The Truth of the Past: Written Version of Facing the Pain of 2010-2016

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

We walk around with cordial smiles and the phrase “I’m fine” anytime anyone asks how we are doing.
Do they really want to know how we are doing?

We mask our tears with happy pictures on social media.
Look into my eyes in these pictures, am I really happy?

We crave attention and love, but settle for mediocrity and our partners fake love.
People say they want something real, long lasting, and true and yet fall for the simplest words of kindness.

Women over and over again “let” their partners take over their minds, and lose track of themselves.

Many aim to be great achievers and believe they are queens/kings and yet they cater to jokers.

My bruised heart and scarred body tells the story of truth and perseverance.
I have been the previously mentioned people and played all of the roles, but the time to face my truth of who I am is knocking on my door.
I dream to become this highly educated, well-rounded, and accomplished genetic engineer, but my nightmares haunt my dedicated and ambitious reality; maybe I am chasing the wrong dream.

I am always fighting for the truth and always running to someone else’s rescue.
I cry so often that I can no longer feel the pain in my heart, it just gets erased as I cater to the feelings of someone else.

The torment it brings is unreal, but over and over again I let it slide; I cry myself to sleep then let it go.
The pain and sadness is swarming all around me, but who besides God will be there to help me heal?

When the narcissism starts up as it always does, will I be able to fake it again?

Torn apart like shreds of paper, my heart still beats and longs for true love, but how much pain will I have to endure to get through the hardship and truly acknowledge my worth?

It’s time to make some changes.