The Truth of the Past: Written Version of Facing the Pain of 2010-2016

We walk around with cordial smiles and the phrase “I’m fine” anytime anyone asks how we are doing.
Do they really want to know how we are doing?

We mask our tears with happy pictures on social media.
Look into my eyes in these pictures, am I really happy?

We crave attention and love, but settle for mediocrity and our partners fake love.
People say they want something real, long lasting, and true and yet fall for the simplest words of kindness.

Women over and over again “let” their partners take over their minds, and lose track of themselves.

Many aim to be great achievers and believe they are queens/kings and yet they cater to jokers.

My bruised heart and scarred body tells the story of truth and perseverance.
I have been the previously mentioned people and played all of the roles, but the time to face my truth of who I am is knocking on my door.
I dream to become this highly educated, well-rounded, and accomplished genetic engineer, but my nightmares haunt my dedicated and ambitious reality; maybe I am chasing the wrong dream.

I am always fighting for the truth and always running to someone else’s rescue.
I cry so often that I can no longer feel the pain in my heart, it just gets erased as I cater to the feelings of someone else.

The torment it brings is unreal, but over and over again I let it slide; I cry myself to sleep then let it go.
The pain and sadness is swarming all around me, but who besides God will be there to help me heal?

When the narcissism starts up as it always does, will I be able to fake it again?

Torn apart like shreds of paper, my heart still beats and longs for true love, but how much pain will I have to endure to get through the hardship and truly acknowledge my worth?

It’s time to make some changes.

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