Tag: Abuse

R - Relieve Your Pain

R – Relieve Your Pain

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen


Let’s chat about the hard days and moments. 


Fill in your own answers…


How many times have you cried yourself to sleep?
How many friends have you lost?
How many losses have you experienced/lived through?
How many times have you convinced yourself that you were unhappy?
How many times have you stayed in a broken relationship?
How many times have you forgiven others?
How many times have you beaten yourself down?


The questions could go on and on, but the real question that you should ask yourself is “what did you learn”.


You must be willing to give yourself permission to relieve your pain.


Without permission to heal, how can you move forward?


Are you walking around with your perceived “brokenness” on your sleeves? 


You should be a walking story, but not one housing the pain of your past.


People are not always what they seem and books’ finest and most beautiful details are not found on their covers.


Re-create your life, fill your heart with what you love, make yourself truly happy, feed your soul, reinvent your everything and show yourself true relief and healing.


John 16:33
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Although you may have faced pain you must remember that you do not have hold strong to it. He bore it all!


Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” His promises are grand! His vision for your life is perfect! No matter what you faced, the best is yet to come if you believe, hold strong to your faith, and put in the work.


Give yourself hope and freedom, relieve your pain.


If your pain is in your past, shouldn’t your power and freedom be in your present and future? Live it up!


Be blessed and be at peace.


***Health Spotlight*** Rotavirus 
Symptoms: severe watery diarrhea, fever, abdominal pain, vomiting, loss of appetite and dehydration.
Prevalence: most common in infants and young children, but adults can get the disease. Vaccinated children are less likely to get sick from rotavirus. 2013- over 200,000 children died from rotavirus (worldwide).
Treatment; no specific medicine, but doctor may recommend certain medication to treat symptoms.
Prevention: drink plenty of liquids. Read more at: https://www.cdc.gov/features/rotavirus/




Abuse, Bible, Blessings, Clarity, Domestic Violence, Empowerment, Epidemiology, Evolution, Faith, Growth, Global Health, Holistic Health, Mindfulness, Public Health, Self-Worth, Strength, Prosperity, Warrior, Overcome

Overcoming Abuse

Overcoming Abuse

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH
©KayLaN.Allen


This is one that truly hits home for me, as I endured physical and mental abuse in my past. I saw this blog as an opportunity to be completely open and vulnerable with you. I know that you may be experiencing this now, or may be moving beyond that pain and I am going to give you some insight, love, and support during this time.


Feeling pain from physical abuse, mental/emotional abuse, or verbal abuse can hurt and plague your life with stress, anxiety, depression, and countless triggers. I know your pain and I know your feelings, and I want to help you get through it and help you take back your life.


If you are still in an abusive relationship/friendship or in a seemingly abuse work relationship, you need to take inventory on your life. 


Abusive Personal Relationships
Intimate: Although a person may say that they did not mean it or it will not happen again, remember that it should not have happened at all. Don’t let them take you out of character or make you change your view of yourself. Remember that you are made in God’s image and you can be anything that you want to be in life; don’t let anyone’s thoughts/behaviors hold you hostage. If someone says that no one else will want you, remember that there are billions of other people in the world and if you were only meant to be with one person you would have been assigned them/physically connected to them at birth. You are handsome/You are beautiful and there are many others who would feel lucky to have someone like you to love because of all that you have to offer (internally) and your wonderful spirit.


People that hurt us with no remorse, do not need to be in our lives. Fight back in whatever way you can to leave; analyze your situation and be prepared to leave safely. Call the police and report it. If you have a friend/family member you can trust have them help you move out. I promise, no matter how much your partner may pull you away from your family/friends someone still cares and loves you. 


A person should not speak negatively to you: yelling at you, cursing at you, calling you out of your name, etc. If your significant other is showing you signs of a high temper, uncontrollable anger/behavior, pay attention and know that you cannot change someone who does not see a problem with what they are doing. Even if they say that it is not their normal behavior and they do not know where it came from, know that their words are more than likely not the truth. Anger doesn’t come out of nowhere, nor does abuse. Being under the influence is not an excuse, either. Pay attention and believe what you are shown.


Be mindful of patterns.


Never forget: You did not make them do it.


There are foundations, organizations, shelters, etc. to support you if you need it. If you need help finding one, let me know and I will assist you in every way humanly possible. I care and I want to help you.


Friends
Yes, friends can abuse you. If they make fun of you “jokingly”, use you, only call when they need something, take and never give, etc. they do not need to be in your life. People will only do what they are allowed to do. If your “friend” is only there for selfish reasons, show them the nearest exit. Stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve or leave if it is not within your friendship. Be kind and still pay attention; do not be blinded by history or false sense of friendship.


Work
If your superiors/coworkers are using you for their benefit and do not support you, encourage you, offer you room for growth, etc. you may not belong there. You have to realize that you have special gifts and talents that you can offer the team/business and those gifts have a significant value. 


Do not let others misuse you, abuse you, cause you pain, break your spirit, degrade you, attack you, etc.  If either person in a relationship is not wanting to be in the relationship anymore, step away. If problems only get bigger and voices only get louder, it is time to go.


Brokenness can be re-shaped. You must be able to look within yourself and see your value and your worth (yes, the two are different). You have something special about yourself that cannot be taken away from you and that is what you must focus on when overcoming these abusive relationships. 


You need to do something with your time that is productive. Get back in school, get a hobby, do volunteer work; do all of these things for yourself. You can heal inside, but it will take time. Yoga, meditation, silent retreats, sound psychological counseling, prayer, support groups, etc. can all be amazingly beneficial things for you to do. You have to do what works for you, and you do not need someone to do these things with you.


The most important thing for you to do after you have gotten away from your abusive past is to not look back. You left for a reason and you faced something that you should have never had to deal with. I know that there may be a lingering feeling trying to remember a piece of good/some happy memories, but I promise you it is not worth revisiting the pain.


You have a strength inside of yourself that you must tap into, and believe me you can do it.


The Universe nor God want you to endure abuse of any sort, so it is time to heal as best as you can. 


Psalms 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” You are hurting or you are still hurting, but know that there is a healing unlike any other coming your way. Seek help and pray about your situation. There is a better life/person for you. This wound needs more than a band-aid, this is definitely a surgery type of situation, so do what it takes to overcome and get stronger. God can heal you in a way that no other can; whatever higher power you connect to is with you and cares about you. You can look inside of yourself, gain wisdom/knowledge via teachings, meditation, and yoga to re-train your brain. Whatever way works for you, you need to do it starting right now.


Isaiah 40:29-31
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  You will heal, with time and faith. It will take effort, simply waiting and believing will not get you out of your situation; you have to muster up the strength and reach inside of yourself to overcome abuse. Once you find that peace and your happiness, never let anyone take it away.


The truth of the matter is that yes you may currently be a victim, but you can become a survivor and a significant blessing with someone else, with new friends (or none at all) or by working elsewhere. You may feel weak right now but take it from a survivor-turned-warrior, you will find your strength.


Remember, you are not alone. I’ll listen to you, cry with you, pray with you, empower you, and help you in any way that I can.


Be blessed and be at peace.


#KayLasPositivityCorner







***Health Spotlight***
STD’s the prevalence of is increasing with time. Please remember that your body is your own and you have the option to say no and that is good enough; if someone sees a problem with that they can leave and you can tell them you are no longer interested. According to the CDC: there were approximately 2.3 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea & syphilis last year (more than 200,000) than the previous year. Get tested regularly, even if you are not in a relationship. There is free help at most community health clinics. Do not be scared to seek help, if you need it. You can experience many horrible symptoms and beyond if you do not get medical help. Protect yourself and others by doing the right thing.




Abuse, Empowerment, Epidemiology, Global Health, Healing, Overcoming, Public Health, Relationships, Strength
U-Uproot

U-Uproot

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen

Uproot- to remove or pull up by the roots

I often tell people that they need to get unstuck from their situation and to not become “stuck on stupid”…let’s address what they means and how you can do it, as well.

Often we see ourselves or people we love get “stuck” in a relationship, “stuck” at a job we may not like, “stuck” living in a place that is not ideal, etc. What I want you to ask yourself is are you/they really stuck? The answer is no.

Everyday we make a choice to do things, stay in a relationship, stay at a job, keep living in a certain place, etc. It is your decision to be in the situation that you are in. You have the opportunity to get out of your “dry place”.

UPROOT YOURSELF!
No one will walk around carrying a basket of happiness, promises, and money…you must chose to get out, remove yourself, better yourself and make a change. No it will not be easy.

If you have ever been abused in any form, you know that it can seem impossible to leave, but it can be done. Talk to someone who can understand and will not judge you. Gain your strength and uproot your heart from one of the highest levels of mental and physical toxicity. Uproot your mind from pain, torture, destruction, confusion, and misery; you deserve better than what you are facing every day and you know it.

If you have ever stayed at a job just because you need a paycheck and to pay your bills, you know how miserable every day can be. Use your “extra” time or make “extra” time and re-shape your life to build a life and career that you love and are proud of. No, it will not happen overnight. No, there will not always be someone that can help you financially, watch your kids, or calm you down when those night/weekend/3 week courses seem to make you feel overwhelmed…but it can be done. If you know that you deserve more out of a job (like, a career that you love), then do what it takes to make it happen. God and the universe will make a way if only you put in the effort and speak out loud that you need help; express what you want, what you need, and what you are doing to make it happen. Live in that feeling of completion and gained success; if you feel it, envision it, and belief it…so it will be. Uproot yourself from that job that is subjecting you to discrimination, low pay, no opportunities to advance, etc. If you want success, go get it!

If you find yourself still living in the same place/area that you came from and you are happy about that, that is okay only if it is an area that you have found success, abundance and prosperity in (for yourself). If it is not all that you have ever wanted, then what are you doing to yourself and your family? Are you really proud of yourself for not rising up and evolving? You need to give yourself a reality check, if you are. You are blessed beyond measure and have new opportunities granted to you every morning. If you are satisfied with mediocrity and not evolving then you are denying your chance at success, an abundant life, and happiness in seeing yourself reach all of your goals. Shake those small thoughts off and start thinking bigger.

If you are someone who is confused or you think that you may need to be uprooted, please know that someone who really cares about you will tell you the truth even when you do not want to hear it. I would much rather serve you a freezing bowl of the cold hard truth that watch you cry buckets of tears or live in years of disappointment or misery.

Proverbs 4: 23
“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.”
If you think that you have reached as high as you can in your life, you will receive nothing more. If you change your thinking and uproot yourself from what confines/binds you, you will attain more.

The thoughts and words that you think or say are put out into the universe…so be careful.

God did not promise you a life of pain. Here’s a few things that He did promise:
Nothing will separate you from God’s love. Psalms 8:38-39
He made you intentionally and knows you intimately. Psalms 139-13-14
He has plans of prosperity and hope attached to your life. Jeremiah 29:11
You are favored. Psalms 5:12
You can do ALL things. Philipians 4:13

Come out of your dry place… stand on God’s promises and all that the universe can provide to you by uprooting your mind from it’s current state.

Be blessed and be at peace.

#KayLasPositivityCorner

***Health Spotlight***
Upper Respiratory Infection- This infection/illness affects millions of people annually and is present across the globe. Pay close attention to your environment, mind what you consume, be physically active and use sanitary practices including regular and thorough hand washing techniques. Don’t ignore symptoms, be mindful of what your home, city, and job expose you to. This spreads illness easily. Encourage your family and friends to seek medical attention if they feel ill.

Abuse, Achievement, Barriers, Change, Communication, Determination, Emotions, Empowerment, Epidemiology, Evolution, Global Health, God, Growth, Healing, Journey, Manifest, Meditation, Positivity, Public Health, Strength, Success, Survivor, Trust, Wisdom

Q-Quest

Q-Quest

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH

©KayLaN.Allen


Life, though full of twists and turns, is a consistent a quest…a journey so
to speak.

No matter your route of education or training, you have gathered a substantial
amount of information in your life that has shaped and molded you into the
person that you are today.

Don’t let anything bind you to your circumstances. Your journey is only over
when breath has left your body for the final time. Each day you are granted a
new opportunity to take another step toward achieving your goals.

Treat your journey as something truly special and blessed, because it is. God
has given you many beautiful things that make you who you are and He is with
you on every step of your journey.

There will be nights when you sit up and cry. There will be days that you wish
would just end. There will be mornings when the sun is bright and shining and
feel like there is pure darkness all around. But guess what…Your journey will
not end there, unless you let it.

Your journey is made up of steps, obstacles and turns, and each one is
different. If one part or one day of journey seems absolutely unbearable does
that mean that God has left your side or that the universe is punishing
you?…no. You see, every step no matter how tough it is, is important.

If you have dealt with anything tough in your life, you know how it feels to be
broken, disappointed, discouraged, angry, depressed, aching, and so much more.
What I want you to do is think about a time in your past that you made it
through your pain…how did you do it? Did you hide? Did you fight? Did you
pray? Did you give up? 

You have to realize that no matter what you went through or what you are going
through now, your journey is still going on. You have an opportunity and a
chance to re-shape your life and add a better step to your journey.

No matter what you face, you can overcome it. God has a special plan for your
life; if ever feel like you can’t take that next step and all of a sudden you
hear a voice inside of your head/heart…listen to it. The universe and God
will send you signs when you need them most, don’t be blind to them.

Jeremiah 29:11
“For
I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Don’t
deny yourself the ability to fulfill your hopes, dreams, and destiny. God is
with you and the universe is busy at work in your favor. 

Stop questioning yourself and what you want you in life. You, very likely,
already know the answer. Take that next step and mold yourself into who you are
called to be. 

Even if you have been abused, molested, plagued with disease, or are living
with mental illness everything is for a reason. We learn how to cope and we
learn how to live within our journey, so that we can help someone else. Don’t
you get that? That does not mean that you get to sit in sorrow for all of the
days of your life, that means that must gain wisdom so that you can change the
world one person at a time.

Joshua 1:9
“Have
I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not
be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
No matter what
you are going through, your journey is not over…God is not leaving your side.
He is ever-present. Everything that you need, the universe will provide to you.
Are you scared
of your next step? Are you scared to continue your quest? Shake off those
feelings of fright because you will not always be in control of the timing in
your life. You must pace yourself and enjoy your journey.
Make the
changes that you need to continue on your quest in life. You deserve to reach
your goals, and you are responsible for the outcome after your stumbles along
the way. You are not stuck and you are not broken, you are healing and on a
quest for success.
***Health
Spotlight***
Your life is
not guaranteed to go on for 5, 50, or 100 years but everything that you do can
put you at risk of shortening your life. What you eat, how you live, your
social surroundings, etc. affect your life. If you say that you cannot do
something about your health because of your circumstances, it is time to make
some changes. Help is there if you need it. Change your diet and habits, so
that you can change your life. You can prevent disease a lot easier than you
can treat it. Nutrition is so important and your health is as well. Make no
more excuses; QUIT SMOKING, DRINKING, AND PARTYING, put down the cake, candy, soda, etc. and set limits for
yourself…your body and your family will thank you later.
Be blessed and
be at peace.
#KayLasPositivityCorner

Quest, Journey, Healing, Achievement, Ambition, Challenges, Abuse, Disease, Mental Health, Public Health, Physical Health, Bible, God, Universe, Positivity, Changes, Determination, Survivor, Strength, Global Health