Tag: Determination

Life Is Today

Life Is Today

Posted on by drkaylanallen

No matter how you view time: minutes, hours, moments, days, work shifts, etc. there will always be another point of view and another way that you can adjust your thoughts on time.

It can be hard to understand time if you are living moment by moment or paycheck by paycheck, but it is quite necessary to shift your perception if you wish to have something more than what you are accustomed to.

Past, present, and future are all elements are time that we cling to, but what I like to think that if we are alive today then our present shows us that not only are we granted life, but our lives are also today.

The past life you conquered, the future is life to undertake, the present is life to gain wisdom from and embrace.

While we fuss about the challenges and run through the moments of laughter, we must remember that we have today to live and keep trying.

There are no challenges that cannot be faced with adequate efforts. If you choose to dwell in difficulties, you may find that you are dragging yourself in the mud when you could have otherwise been regrouping.

There is no happiness that you do not deserve if you are working hard, being a good person, and challenging yourself over and over again to level up.

I have many times been met with people, circumstances, and situations that caused me to question when tomorrows would arrive that could erase the difficulties of today. Eventually tomorrows would come (of course), but I learned that in order to get to tomorrow you have to be willing to face today. I’m a much stronger and wiser person these days because of what I learned many years ago, and I now carry those lessons as wisdom to share with others.

If you can understand that your life is today, you also know that everything that is happening in your life is like a grain of sand – sometimes it may be seemingly insignificant alone (it may be all that you can as it is so small), but so powerful and precious in larger quantities (if it lingers or builds up) if you think about it. 

Life is no magic trick, a moment in time, a grain of sand, nor something to be taken for granted; it is to be lived wisely today. Your life is today, it is happening right now, and it will continue to move forward as long as you are in this physical world, so what will you do with it? Will you make the most of every moment by evolving and transforming yourself from the inside out, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable?

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

How is your life’s destination different from where you began?

Your origins or a set pathway do not entirely determine your destination in life.

Creation is only a part of who you are.

You have the power to accept that your destination is crafted and, in some ways, altered before your eyes.

As you learn about your life, embrace who you are, and experience bumps in the road, you can take hold of the steering wheel of your life.

No one can force you to become something you are not, nor can they decide where you will go.

Your destination is a journey to be appreciated and valued with you at the center of that perspective.

When you are in the driver’s seat along your diverse and unique journey, you have the chance to appreciate the view, pierce the veil of the world around you, and cruise toward your destination because your heart and soul have power over that which is in your rearview mirror.

– Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

“My Destination Is Mine”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

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Comfort At A Cost

Comfort At A Cost

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Life runs on an on every day, and for many people it is a rare occasion that we get a chance to pause, breathe, reflect, or really enjoy a moment for ourselves. 

Do you ever feel like you are constantly running a marathon through your life? What may feel like a rat race, hamster wheel of life, or the life of a woman on the run may be one that is happening to you, but have you thought about it at a deeper level?

Sometimes it may seem like you are going and going. It may even fill like you are constantly filling the cups of others and maybe even losing yourself and your comfort in the process.

Determining what you need to enjoy your life, have peace, and accomplish your heart’s desires requires some comfort, but that comes at a cost that you must be willing to pay.

How is it that we can keep going and going while denying ourselves the grace and the opportunity to find comfort and peace that we need every day? Do we not deserve it?

People call and ask for help, guidance, assistance, advice, and quite often we provide it. Our families need our support, and we provide it. Our jobs, careers, clients, etc. require our constant efforts and diligence and we deliver over and over again, right?

What would it take for you to give yourself a sense of comfort from time to time? 

Understand that in many cases if you want to have comfort you may have to make some changes to the things that you were once comfortable with – people, situations, history, and more.

Learn that you must be willing to pay the cost because you are worth the comfort that your heart, soul, and mind require.

Some people may say or feel that you have changed when you tell them that you are no longer living as you once were or you are no longer accepting things that once existed, but their thoughts have nothing to do with your life. Move on.

Your comfort comes at a cost, are you ready to pay it?

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

 
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Pass The Stability Test

Pass The Stability Test

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Life is designed in a way that is not always easy, direct, or consistent. 

In fact, it can surely be difficult to maintain a sense of stability when the road is rocky. However, what would happen if you put yourself to a stability test to determine if you were stable over time regardless of what you were facing?

When faced with a challenge we often have to change how we react, process information, and sometimes how we approach conversation. 

Even though we have to change some things when challenges (for better or for “worse”), one thing that must stay the same is who we are.

Passing the stability test means that you are able to look at yourself and understand that you are still maintaining your identity, your truth, your morals, and your worth even when things are not in the typical/wanted flow of daily life.

How easy it would be if we if we could simply change who we are over and over again, but how difficult it would be to love and be loved, because we would never able to be understood. 

Wanting to analyze your stability over time is to know that you deserve to be powerfully you in and out of seasons.

The place where we could easily lose sight is in the situations and spaces in which we are trying to be that which we are not for purposes beyond ourselves. 

Taking on a false identity to fit a mold will never give you what you want in life.

Although we are to evolve over time, we in many ways maintain the integrity and depth of ourselves if we choose to do so.

While I watch myself evolve over the years and become who God calls me to be, I still can see that which makes me who I am living and breathing inside of me. I will never “shapeshift” for some purpose, besides it would not give me joy or help me to fulfill MY destiny.

We have to be able to strongly walk in our shoes know that even if we must change shoes, our feet will still be firmly planted on the ground.

Stay focused on what you want for your life and know that life will become what you want it to be if you are willing to put in the work and remain true to yourself.

Be blessed at be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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It's About Staying, Not Winning

It’s About Staying, Not Winning

Posted on by drkaylanallen

On various occasions when I consider the journey of life that I have walked through I wonder how (in some cases) I was able to make it to this point; of course, I know that most of that is God. Quite frankly, if I had to redo any of some of the more difficult seasons of life, I do not know that I could have endured them in the same manner that I did and do so with such strength, courage, or blind faith…but God.

For those of us that long for something greater in life, we choose to seek something beyond what we are familiar with. With that newness comes a reason to search for something that is fresh, to be hoped for, and even a little scary.

As we go through the steps that it takes to get through various steps to hold strong to positive momentum, there can be waves of momentum, feelings of self-doubt, misalignment with desires, happiness, confusion, a possible need to make a change, and everything in between.

When you embark on a journey toward your greater self, you have to remember that your focus requires that you stay present not that you always win.

There is no perfect path, no certain number of wins that you are supposed to have in order to be successful, and no destination that has to be reached in order for you to find true joy that you can house forever.

The reality in this life is that you have to stay focus on the things that make you who you are.

You have to be so determined to achieve what you want in life that even you when you do trip, stumble, or fall, that getting up and learning from those missteps is something that you look forward to doing.

Staying along your path toward your goal does not have to mean that you must stay in the exact same space, mind frame, or even around the same people, so please keep that in mind.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned is that one way or another there will be people (some who look like you and others who do not), places, and things that will get in the way and you have to be able to adjust (in your time) so that you can continue to make waves in your ocean of life.

Sometimes a win may masquerade itself as missed opportunity, broken promise, series of bias, or lost relationship – be grateful for it all.

Sometimes staying means simply staying in love with your passion.

Nothing along the theme and practice of reaching goals is scripted, which is why we all have a unique story and testimony. 

Do not worry if you story is not panning out the way that you may have wanted it to. 

Stay focused on your goals, count your blessings, and be grateful for the “wins” and “losses”.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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Stand Up For Yourself

Stand Up For Yourself

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Many factors likely contribute to your ability to stand up for yourself. 

Things such as your characters, upbringing, life experiences, traumatic events, personality, and even genetics can impact your ability to stand up for yourself if you really think about it.

However, if we break things down a bit further in one’s ability to stand, doesn’t the act of standing require a series of strategic efforts for a wanted outcome?

A human baby does not exit the womb walking. The child typically goes through a series of other types of moving before walking, correct? 

If we transfer this same realm of thought to an adults’ ability to stand up for themselves, doesn’t that mean that we have to learn about what it takes within ourselves in order to be able to stand up for ourselves when it is both necessary and when it matters most?

There is no life in which you should always remain silent or “submissive”. In fact, using your voice in many ways can help you and others in countless situations.

Growth comes when we explore the potential of the future and what we want it to be.

Even after overcoming many things that could have otherwise caused me to think that I had to always cower down for my own security, peace of mind, or need for freedom of judgment, I had to learn about the many types of standing up for myself.

There is a desirable space and time in which standing up for yourself is divine and necessary, but only you can learn how to reach that target effectively.

Will that effectiveness in you standing up for yourself be questioned? Probably. Will you maybe doubt your ability to stand up for yourself before and after you do so? Maybe.

You cannot expect life to be perfect, nor can you expect everything to be understood by others. 

Over and over again we have to choose to be courageous, curious, intentional, filled with integrity, and human.

Standing up will sometimes mean that we will have to crawl a bit, stumble sometimes, grab some bandages here and there, and re-lace our shoes as necessary, but each bit of effort will count toward something greater.

Getting up and trying again when it hurts, when you’re happy, when they blame you, when no one believes in you, when you are scared, when the odds are stacked against you, when all you have is the faith the size of a mustard seed is when you know that you can stand up for yourself!

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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Strategies for Prosperity

Strategies for Prosperity

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Prosperity is something that is waiting for all of us if we are willing to put in the working, both inside and out. The strategies and steps that we need to take may look different from person to person, but there are often several tools that each of us can use to make sure that prosperity can become more than a word. 

Let’s dissect a few of them now so that you can start applying your new wisdom today.

Feeding Your Mind

The things that we place into our minds at every level are key to the outcomes that we will see in the future. Education, whether through certifications, trainings, or some other form of higher learning will not only shape your competency, it will begin to change the way that your mind works in many ways. Growth starts inside, in many ways. Put in the work, feed your mind what serves as fuel. What challenges you in ways that makes you think, reflect, and get curious? When you know this answer, use your learning style to apply new teachings, methods, thought to your life.

Planting Seeds in the World Around You

One of the greatest things that we can do is to give back that which we learn. Countless times, we learn lessons in life that are so powerful and we grow from them, but how often are those very lessons given back to others. With every major lesson that I learn in life, I value being able to give back nuggets of wisdom to be able to help others. Planting seeds in the world is a form of developing prosperity in impact, not financial impact necessarily, but from the heart and soul; there is not greater gift than that, right?

Restructuring Your Daily/Regular Practices

The way that you carry on today should not be the same tomorrow. This is a space in which many people can find some concerns because it is easy to carry on with the familiar. Growth requires some change and this means that you have to change the way that you carry on in the day-to-day as a person in your regular and business life.

Knowing That Your Works Are Growing Outcomes

You can put in as much work as you like, but if you are not allowing yourself a space of reflection, recall, clarity, and paying attention to what is happening right in front of you, you may miss out on something that is changing your life. Growth is happening whether we see it or not, but the way that it is happening may not always be known. Just as a tree evolves throughout the seasons, you can and should as well. Know that your change may be happening in the shadows or in the light, but the growth is always visible when you look inside of yourself.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

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Walk Onward

Walk Onward

Posted on by drkaylanallen

There are countless times in life when it seems like it would be easier to just stop or give up on a goal or objective. Many situations in life may cause you to question your journey, and that can be a healthy thing. 

Understanding where you are and the things that you are facing sometimes means that you have to be still, but this does not move give up.

The times that you face trials in life are typically setting you up for something that you have to face in the future. 

While it may be difficult to understand why you have to go through a certain season or situation, it may be necessary so that you can keep your head to the sky and walk onward.

Walking onward means that you can understand what you are facing, overcome what you must go through, and challenge yourself to keep focusing on your goals.

The challenge for many of us is that we gall into a spiral of emotions when things do not seem to be going in our favor.

When faced with a mountain of perceived difficulties, this is the time in which you have to choose to walk onward, through the rain and toward your rainbow.

When you go through your life’s storms, this may mean that you have to sludge through the mud or wipe your glasses because of the downpour. Even if this is the case, you can clear your mental processes and physical pathway to see things a bit clearer, if you shift your thinking and push forward with great effort.

If you choose to do something great with your life that is beyond your or you aim to be successful, you will run into times where the rubber meets the road of the road is more than rocky. When the path ahead of you is not easy this means that you have to try even harder.

Do not focus on how things may look in the moment. Do not allow yourself to spiral into an endless emotional roller coaster. Be kind to yourself and know that “this too shall pass”. 

Walk onward and know that every step forward or backward (if that is necessary) will be worth it. 

As I journey through my life in this season, there is nothing that is easy. In fact, I have questioned this journey a few times, but I know that I will never change my heart or that which I want to do to bless others. Remain true to yourself and do not allow anyone to take you out of normal behavioral pattern.

The goodness of who you are will always shine in the right places. Don’t give up EVER.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

 

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

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Supersede Your Baseline Needs

Supersede Your Baseline Needs

Posted on by drkaylanallen

For everything that you aim to do in life, I can bet that there are many other things that do not get done because you are (from time to time) too busy doing other things for other people and other reasons. Am I right? 

Let’s add on to that bet…do you often find that you are only giving your needs and aims the bare minimum even though you want something great in every area of your life?

Why do we do these things to ourselves and then wonder why we haven’t gotten where we want to be? How can we push through life without ensuring that basic needs and higher goals are given a real chance?

The Basics

When was the last time that you gave yourself the love, time, dedication, and attention that you deserved? How often do you do that? This can be a struggle for many people especially students, those in leadership, parents, caregivers, and healthcare providers. What we have to understand is that we should always come first, even if we are in positions in which we always have to do things for others.

Do you cater to what your physical body needs to be well on a regular basis? It’s easy to ignore simple things like a headache or changes in moods, but what if they mean something more? It is vital that you take care of yourself inside and out as you know your body best. You cannot have the life that you want (not a sustainable one) if you are not being mindful of what you need to be feeding your body.

Do you regularly make time to do the things that you love? Fulfilling your heart’s desires is critical and it starts by feeding your heart and soul that which gives it true joy. There is nothing that you can do in life that will contribute to you ignoring what what gives you joy, peace, and freedom. 

Goals

At some point or another, you had a dream or goal…what was/is it? Are you putting the work to make it come to life, piece by piece and day by day? I surely hope that you do not think that you believe that putting in minimal work infrequently is going to make your goals and dreams come to life. You have to be consistent, after all, you deserve to see what you envision become your reality.

Personal Transformation (Life and Business)

How often do you invest in yourself so that you can the next level of yourself? Evolving and becoming a better version of yourself takes time, effort, money, focus, and much effort. There are many things that you will have to do to reach new height; this means you will have to invest in yourself. You need a coach, at every turn of life, that is relatable, educated, in alignment with their goals in their life, and connected to what you want to achieve in your life. You have to do the work inside and out if we want to see change and you want those changes to last.

I have found many times over that I have to continue to analyze where I am in my life because it is how I get re-centered. Understanding the place in time of your current situations help you understand where you want to be. The knowledge of your aims and wants in life is the beginning of taking the necessary steps to make your dreams a reality.

There will always be something else that you need to do. There will always be something or someone else that needs something from you. If you do not take the time to care for yourself in and out, you may be limiting your potential. 

Take the time to supersede your baseline needs, and that which you hope for will soon become yours.

Cut out what no longer serves you. Remember that you are human and have needs, emotions, and dreams. To loving be there for someone that is close to you, you have to first be there for yourself. Nothing that you want in life will fall into your life and you will not always know what next steps to take. The key in superseding your baseline needs  is to be aware of the facets of your being.

*This element of positivity and these words of wisdom are all about going above and beyond in your life, in healthy and holistic ways, so that you have everything that you want, need, desire, and then some. 

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

 
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Dear Black Kings

Dear Black Kings

Posted on by KayLa's Positivity Corner by KayLa N. Allen, MPH
©KayLaN.Allen

Dear Black Kings
Dear Black Kings, lean on your Queens.
Know that we know life is harder than it may seem.
We see your worries and feel your pain.
We know that a heavy heart can drive you insane.
We never want you to feel alone,
So feel and see that we are with you in the heat of the zone.
A part of our world may need mending,
But we need your truths to always be ascending.
Even if the road gets rough and your tears do fall,
Your Queen will always be there to pick up the ball.
Give me your hand and tag me in,
In this life, together, we can win.
I carry your heart and you hold mine
With each other, we will yet again see the sun shine.
I’ll wear my crown while we shine yours,
I’ll pray over you and you’ll become you once more.
Strength and courage of a lion and lioness
We will overcome challenges that bring us stress.
We’ll get through dark days with love, know that this is true.
This life together is to be conquered and it’s all possible with me AND you.
Signed, his Black Queen.