Posts by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

How do you focus on your goals and keep going forward when you think the odds are stacked against you? 

We, as mixed girls, can sometimes go through life being told that because we are different, there will be nothing that we can do that will be easy. 

We can also be told that everything will come to us without problems. 

Both of those statements have no actual validity, and it is up to you to know that if you want to reach your goals, you must stay focused and check off your list as you move forward. 

No one can tell your story or dictate your life and what it is made of except you. 

The challenges that you overcome, the methods in which you strive for greatness, the courage that you house inside your DNA are to be understood by you and only you. 

In life, one of your greatest missions is to recall who you are at your core, no matter what you face or what goals you aim to achieve. 

Bind your passion to your goals and let nothing that holds no real value break your focus because you are worth far more than that.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

Letter Entitled: “Goal List – Check Off and Keep Going”

 

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Level Up!
Life Is Today

Life Is Today

Posted on by drkaylanallen

No matter how you view time: minutes, hours, moments, days, work shifts, etc. there will always be another point of view and another way that you can adjust your thoughts on time.

It can be hard to understand time if you are living moment by moment or paycheck by paycheck, but it is quite necessary to shift your perception if you wish to have something more than what you are accustomed to.

Past, present, and future are all elements are time that we cling to, but what I like to think that if we are alive today then our present shows us that not only are we granted life, but our lives are also today.

The past life you conquered, the future is life to undertake, the present is life to gain wisdom from and embrace.

While we fuss about the challenges and run through the moments of laughter, we must remember that we have today to live and keep trying.

There are no challenges that cannot be faced with adequate efforts. If you choose to dwell in difficulties, you may find that you are dragging yourself in the mud when you could have otherwise been regrouping.

There is no happiness that you do not deserve if you are working hard, being a good person, and challenging yourself over and over again to level up.

I have many times been met with people, circumstances, and situations that caused me to question when tomorrows would arrive that could erase the difficulties of today. Eventually tomorrows would come (of course), but I learned that in order to get to tomorrow you have to be willing to face today. I’m a much stronger and wiser person these days because of what I learned many years ago, and I now carry those lessons as wisdom to share with others.

If you can understand that your life is today, you also know that everything that is happening in your life is like a grain of sand – sometimes it may be seemingly insignificant alone (it may be all that you can as it is so small), but so powerful and precious in larger quantities (if it lingers or builds up) if you think about it. 

Life is no magic trick, a moment in time, a grain of sand, nor something to be taken for granted; it is to be lived wisely today. Your life is today, it is happening right now, and it will continue to move forward as long as you are in this physical world, so what will you do with it? Will you make the most of every moment by evolving and transforming yourself from the inside out, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable?

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

Level Up!
Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

How is your life’s destination different from where you began?

Your origins or a set pathway do not entirely determine your destination in life.

Creation is only a part of who you are.

You have the power to accept that your destination is crafted and, in some ways, altered before your eyes.

As you learn about your life, embrace who you are, and experience bumps in the road, you can take hold of the steering wheel of your life.

No one can force you to become something you are not, nor can they decide where you will go.

Your destination is a journey to be appreciated and valued with you at the center of that perspective.

When you are in the driver’s seat along your diverse and unique journey, you have the chance to appreciate the view, pierce the veil of the world around you, and cruise toward your destination because your heart and soul have power over that which is in your rearview mirror.

– Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

“My Destination Is Mine”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Level Up!
Comfort At A Cost

Comfort At A Cost

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Life runs on an on every day, and for many people it is a rare occasion that we get a chance to pause, breathe, reflect, or really enjoy a moment for ourselves. 

Do you ever feel like you are constantly running a marathon through your life? What may feel like a rat race, hamster wheel of life, or the life of a woman on the run may be one that is happening to you, but have you thought about it at a deeper level?

Sometimes it may seem like you are going and going. It may even fill like you are constantly filling the cups of others and maybe even losing yourself and your comfort in the process.

Determining what you need to enjoy your life, have peace, and accomplish your heart’s desires requires some comfort, but that comes at a cost that you must be willing to pay.

How is it that we can keep going and going while denying ourselves the grace and the opportunity to find comfort and peace that we need every day? Do we not deserve it?

People call and ask for help, guidance, assistance, advice, and quite often we provide it. Our families need our support, and we provide it. Our jobs, careers, clients, etc. require our constant efforts and diligence and we deliver over and over again, right?

What would it take for you to give yourself a sense of comfort from time to time? 

Understand that in many cases if you want to have comfort you may have to make some changes to the things that you were once comfortable with – people, situations, history, and more.

Learn that you must be willing to pay the cost because you are worth the comfort that your heart, soul, and mind require.

Some people may say or feel that you have changed when you tell them that you are no longer living as you once were or you are no longer accepting things that once existed, but their thoughts have nothing to do with your life. Move on.

Your comfort comes at a cost, are you ready to pay it?

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

 
Level Up!
Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,


Have you ever had days when the weight of tears in your eyes made it difficult to see clearly and be yourself?

Being able to breathe through the tears can be difficult when tears are falling, and your heart is heavy, especially if someone has hurt your feelings. 

Trying to be strong as a mixed girl when others are judging you by your appearance or assumptions can be so hard, so you must remember to take a moment to breathe.

Do you know where your strength lies?

While you may feel emotional, upset, or confused when others spew hurtful words or judge you, you must remember who you are and recall that you are stronger inside than what is being said by others. 

Give no power to negativity by feeling your emotions, breathing through tears, and remembering who you are, my dear. 

Your tears are not useless; they will bring you clarity and power if you use them as tools that can better equip you for strength and courage.

Should you find that your tears fill your eyes, dear mixed girl, remember to embrace your emotions, walk through your feelings, breathe, and hold strong because you are growing and soon to learn something that will serve as wisdom for the future that you are walking into.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

Letter Entitled: “Breathe Through Your Tears”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Level Up!
Servitude Without Self-Serving Feelings

Servitude Without Self-Serving Feelings

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Giving is a gift in itself, and we do this very action in countless ways every day.

Serving others is one way that we change the world one moment at a time.

It is important to remember throughout every giving season of life that when we are in positions of servitude that we are giving from a space that is not self-serving or for some reward.

Gifts given in return whether on Earth or in Heaven are beautiful and blessing, but we should give because it is the right thing to do, not just because we expect to receive something in return.

Apply this lesson of servitude without selfishness to business, love, family relationships, volunteering, etc. and know that the message is the same. 

When we can give with a loving heart, we notice that there is a difference in the way that we carry ourselves, how we our efforts are delivered, and the way that we feel once our deeds have been completed.

This year I chose to spend a lot of time in humanitarian efforts and mentoring and it has been empowering in so many ways. I wanted to give back to women in spaces of leadership, public health, education, and those overcoming life difficulties while personal evolving. I learned a lot about these ladies, and they challenged me to think deeper about life lessons that I have gathered along the way. They also taught me about how strong they were; I could not help but to be proud of them at every turn.

Tapping into what makes you who you are, using what you have learned, utilizing your education and things you are learning as you grow are all way spaces in which you can serve without being self-serving – all of these things are gifts and blessings to others that you can mold and shape along the way.

Servitude can be:

A paying career/thriving business

Humanitarian efforts/volunteering work

Virtually free from self-serving/ego and prideful feelings

Servitude is a gift that we can grant in all spaces of life, but the way that we deliver these gifts will influence the giver and the receiver.

Choose to serve in a way that is for the good of others. Being a humanitarian in ways that are connected to your hearts and gifts will nourish your soul while you bless others. If you do these works and live with a mindset of servitude without self-serving feelings or desires, you will see how much of a difference your gifts can make in the lives of others.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

Level Up!
Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

When was the last time that you took a moment to embrace the song that is in your heart and soul through dance and joy?

When you can embrace the skin that you are in and the dance that lives inside of you, you will learn that you are living in bold colors unlike any other. 

There is no time in life that you have to change your mixed colors (skin, flags, or anything else). 

There is purity and beauty in dancing to the beat of your own drum, so don’t change your colors for anyone.

There are countless times in which we may find ourselves trying to fit in, wanting to embrace a different dance, live in different skin, or hide the flags that our ancestors found pride in or fought for. 

We have a chance now to be all that we are, so we can dance with our colors without judgment, so let all of you shine. 

Dance alone, around others, with a smile or your face, to whatever makes you happen, but let it all feed your soul.

You can dance with your colors inside and out, and no one can take away the meaning of your “mixed” joy in that.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program.

Level Up!
Pass The Stability Test

Pass The Stability Test

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Life is designed in a way that is not always easy, direct, or consistent. 

In fact, it can surely be difficult to maintain a sense of stability when the road is rocky. However, what would happen if you put yourself to a stability test to determine if you were stable over time regardless of what you were facing?

When faced with a challenge we often have to change how we react, process information, and sometimes how we approach conversation. 

Even though we have to change some things when challenges (for better or for “worse”), one thing that must stay the same is who we are.

Passing the stability test means that you are able to look at yourself and understand that you are still maintaining your identity, your truth, your morals, and your worth even when things are not in the typical/wanted flow of daily life.

How easy it would be if we if we could simply change who we are over and over again, but how difficult it would be to love and be loved, because we would never able to be understood. 

Wanting to analyze your stability over time is to know that you deserve to be powerfully you in and out of seasons.

The place where we could easily lose sight is in the situations and spaces in which we are trying to be that which we are not for purposes beyond ourselves. 

Taking on a false identity to fit a mold will never give you what you want in life.

Although we are to evolve over time, we in many ways maintain the integrity and depth of ourselves if we choose to do so.

While I watch myself evolve over the years and become who God calls me to be, I still can see that which makes me who I am living and breathing inside of me. I will never “shapeshift” for some purpose, besides it would not give me joy or help me to fulfill MY destiny.

We have to be able to strongly walk in our shoes know that even if we must change shoes, our feet will still be firmly planted on the ground.

Stay focused on what you want for your life and know that life will become what you want it to be if you are willing to put in the work and remain true to yourself.

Be blessed at be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

Level Up!
Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl

Is there a song or rhythm that reminds you of home or makes you feel connected to everything that is you?

Sometimes in life, we are told that we can only listen to one type of music because we will otherwise be judged. 

What would happen if we chose to embrace all of the music that comes together to make our mixed lives? 

We would walk with flowers in our hair, bells on our wrists, drumsticks in our hands, boots on our feet, and everything powerful about our ancestors wrapped around us.

Do you know that music others may say is weird is perfectly acceptable, especially if it makes your soul and heart happy? 

You have the right to explore the world through music and be yourself in every way. 

Music in the mixed world varies and it is always so beautiful.

Never be fearful of embracing parts of your musical identity or worry about what others may think when you listen to a variety of music that makes your heart smile.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

“Music: Embrace It All”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program.

Click here
It's About Staying, Not Winning

It’s About Staying, Not Winning

Posted on by drkaylanallen

On various occasions when I consider the journey of life that I have walked through I wonder how (in some cases) I was able to make it to this point; of course, I know that most of that is God. Quite frankly, if I had to redo any of some of the more difficult seasons of life, I do not know that I could have endured them in the same manner that I did and do so with such strength, courage, or blind faith…but God.

For those of us that long for something greater in life, we choose to seek something beyond what we are familiar with. With that newness comes a reason to search for something that is fresh, to be hoped for, and even a little scary.

As we go through the steps that it takes to get through various steps to hold strong to positive momentum, there can be waves of momentum, feelings of self-doubt, misalignment with desires, happiness, confusion, a possible need to make a change, and everything in between.

When you embark on a journey toward your greater self, you have to remember that your focus requires that you stay present not that you always win.

There is no perfect path, no certain number of wins that you are supposed to have in order to be successful, and no destination that has to be reached in order for you to find true joy that you can house forever.

The reality in this life is that you have to stay focus on the things that make you who you are.

You have to be so determined to achieve what you want in life that even you when you do trip, stumble, or fall, that getting up and learning from those missteps is something that you look forward to doing.

Staying along your path toward your goal does not have to mean that you must stay in the exact same space, mind frame, or even around the same people, so please keep that in mind.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned is that one way or another there will be people (some who look like you and others who do not), places, and things that will get in the way and you have to be able to adjust (in your time) so that you can continue to make waves in your ocean of life.

Sometimes a win may masquerade itself as missed opportunity, broken promise, series of bias, or lost relationship – be grateful for it all.

Sometimes staying means simply staying in love with your passion.

Nothing along the theme and practice of reaching goals is scripted, which is why we all have a unique story and testimony. 

Do not worry if you story is not panning out the way that you may have wanted it to. 

Stay focused on your goals, count your blessings, and be grateful for the “wins” and “losses”.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

Level Up!