Empowerment Archives

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on January 25, 2022January 25, 2022 by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

How do you focus on your goals and keep going forward when you think the odds are stacked against you?

We, as mixed girls, can sometimes go through life being told that because we are different, there will be nothing that we can do that will be easy.

We can also be told that everything will come to us without problems.

Both of those statements have no actual validity, and it is up to you to know that if you want to reach your goals, you must stay focused and check off your list as you move forward.

No one can tell your story or dictate your life and what it is made of except you.

The challenges that you overcome, the methods in which you strive for greatness, the courage that you house inside your DNA are to be understood by you and only you.

In life, one of your greatest missions is to recall who you are at your core, no matter what you face or what goals you aim to achieve.

Bind your passion to your goals and let nothing that holds no real value break your focus because you are worth far more than that.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

Letter Entitled: “Goal List – Check Off and Keep Going”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on January 12, 2022January 12, 2022 by drkaylanallen

How is your life’s destination different from where you began?

Your origins or a set pathway do not entirely determine your destination in life.

Creation is only a part of who you are.

You have the power to accept that your destination is crafted and, in some ways, altered before your eyes.

As you learn about your life, embrace who you are, and experience bumps in the road, you can take hold of the steering wheel of your life.

No one can force you to become something you are not, nor can they decide where you will go.

Your destination is a journey to be appreciated and valued with you at the center of that perspective.

When you are in the driver’s seat along your diverse and unique journey, you have the chance to appreciate the view, pierce the veil of the world around you, and cruise toward your destination because your heart and soul have power over that which is in your rearview mirror.

– Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

“My Destination Is Mine”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Comfort At A Cost

Posted on January 6, 2022January 6, 2022 by drkaylanallen

Life runs on an on every day, and for many people it is a rare occasion that we get a chance to pause, breathe, reflect, or really enjoy a moment for ourselves.

Do you ever feel like you are constantly running a marathon through your life? What may feel like a rat race, hamster wheel of life, or the life of a woman on the run may be one that is happening to you, but have you thought about it at a deeper level?

Sometimes it may seem like you are going and going. It may even fill like you are constantly filling the cups of others and maybe even losing yourself and your comfort in the process.

Determining what you need to enjoy your life, have peace, and accomplish your heart’s desires requires some comfort, but that comes at a cost that you must be willing to pay.

How is it that we can keep going and going while denying ourselves the grace and the opportunity to find comfort and peace that we need every day? Do we not deserve it?

People call and ask for help, guidance, assistance, advice, and quite often we provide it. Our families need our support, and we provide it. Our jobs, careers, clients, etc. require our constant efforts and diligence and we deliver over and over again, right?

What would it take for you to give yourself a sense of comfort from time to time?

Understand that in many cases if you want to have comfort you may have to make some changes to the things that you were once comfortable with – people, situations, history, and more.

Learn that you must be willing to pay the cost because you are worth the comfort that your heart, soul, and mind require.

Some people may say or feel that you have changed when you tell them that you are no longer living as you once were or you are no longer accepting things that once existed, but their thoughts have nothing to do with your life. Move on.

Your comfort comes at a cost, are you ready to pay it?

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

Servitude Without Self-Serving Feelings

Posted on December 22, 2021January 6, 2022 by drkaylanallen

Giving is a gift in itself, and we do this very action in countless ways every day.

Serving others is one way that we change the world one moment at a time.

It is important to remember throughout every giving season of life that when we are in positions of servitude that we are giving from a space that is not self-serving or for some reward.

Gifts given in return whether on Earth or in Heaven are beautiful and blessing, but we should give because it is the right thing to do, not just because we expect to receive something in return.

Apply this lesson of servitude without selfishness to business, love, family relationships, volunteering, etc. and know that the message is the same.

When we can give with a loving heart, we notice that there is a difference in the way that we carry ourselves, how we our efforts are delivered, and the way that we feel once our deeds have been completed.

This year I chose to spend a lot of time in humanitarian efforts and mentoring and it has been empowering in so many ways. I wanted to give back to women in spaces of leadership, public health, education, and those overcoming life difficulties while personal evolving. I learned a lot about these ladies, and they challenged me to think deeper about life lessons that I have gathered along the way. They also taught me about how strong they were; I could not help but to be proud of them at every turn.

Tapping into what makes you who you are, using what you have learned, utilizing your education and things you are learning as you grow are all way spaces in which you can serve without being self-serving – all of these things are gifts and blessings to others that you can mold and shape along the way.

Servitude can be:

A paying career/thriving business

Humanitarian efforts/volunteering work

Virtually free from self-serving/ego and prideful feelings

Servitude is a gift that we can grant in all spaces of life, but the way that we deliver these gifts will influence the giver and the receiver.

Choose to serve in a way that is for the good of others. Being a humanitarian in ways that are connected to your hearts and gifts will nourish your soul while you bless others. If you do these works and live with a mindset of servitude without self-serving feelings or desires, you will see how much of a difference your gifts can make in the lives of others.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

Pass The Stability Test

Posted on December 7, 2021December 23, 2021 by drkaylanallen

Life is designed in a way that is not always easy, direct, or consistent.

In fact, it can surely be difficult to maintain a sense of stability when the road is rocky. However, what would happen if you put yourself to a stability test to determine if you were stable over time regardless of what you were facing?

When faced with a challenge we often have to change how we react, process information, and sometimes how we approach conversation.

Even though we have to change some things when challenges (for better or for “worse”), one thing that must stay the same is who we are.

Passing the stability test means that you are able to look at yourself and understand that you are still maintaining your identity, your truth, your morals, and your worth even when things are not in the typical/wanted flow of daily life.

How easy it would be if we if we could simply change who we are over and over again, but how difficult it would be to love and be loved, because we would never able to be understood.

Wanting to analyze your stability over time is to know that you deserve to be powerfully you in and out of seasons.

The place where we could easily lose sight is in the situations and spaces in which we are trying to be that which we are not for purposes beyond ourselves.

Taking on a false identity to fit a mold will never give you what you want in life.

Although we are to evolve over time, we in many ways maintain the integrity and depth of ourselves if we choose to do so.

While I watch myself evolve over the years and become who God calls me to be, I still can see that which makes me who I am living and breathing inside of me. I will never “shapeshift” for some purpose, besides it would not give me joy or help me to fulfill MY destiny.

We have to be able to strongly walk in our shoes know that even if we must change shoes, our feet will still be firmly planted on the ground.

Stay focused on what you want for your life and know that life will become what you want it to be if you are willing to put in the work and remain true to yourself.

Be blessed at be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

It’s About Staying, Not Winning

Posted on November 23, 2021November 23, 2021 by drkaylanallen

On various occasions when I consider the journey of life that I have walked through I wonder how (in some cases) I was able to make it to this point; of course, I know that most of that is God. Quite frankly, if I had to redo any of some of the more difficult seasons of life, I do not know that I could have endured them in the same manner that I did and do so with such strength, courage, or blind faith…but God.

For those of us that long for something greater in life, we choose to seek something beyond what we are familiar with. With that newness comes a reason to search for something that is fresh, to be hoped for, and even a little scary.

As we go through the steps that it takes to get through various steps to hold strong to positive momentum, there can be waves of momentum, feelings of self-doubt, misalignment with desires, happiness, confusion, a possible need to make a change, and everything in between.

When you embark on a journey toward your greater self, you have to remember that your focus requires that you stay present not that you always win.

There is no perfect path, no certain number of wins that you are supposed to have in order to be successful, and no destination that has to be reached in order for you to find true joy that you can house forever.

The reality in this life is that you have to stay focus on the things that make you who you are.

You have to be so determined to achieve what you want in life that even you when you do trip, stumble, or fall, that getting up and learning from those missteps is something that you look forward to doing.

Staying along your path toward your goal does not have to mean that you must stay in the exact same space, mind frame, or even around the same people, so please keep that in mind.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned is that one way or another there will be people (some who look like you and others who do not), places, and things that will get in the way and you have to be able to adjust (in your time) so that you can continue to make waves in your ocean of life.

Sometimes a win may masquerade itself as missed opportunity, broken promise, series of bias, or lost relationship – be grateful for it all.

Sometimes staying means simply staying in love with your passion.

Nothing along the theme and practice of reaching goals is scripted, which is why we all have a unique story and testimony.

Do not worry if you story is not panning out the way that you may have wanted it to.

Stay focused on your goals, count your blessings, and be grateful for the “wins” and “losses”.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

Stand Up For Yourself

Posted on November 8, 2021November 8, 2021 by drkaylanallen

Many factors likely contribute to your ability to stand up for yourself.

Things such as your characters, upbringing, life experiences, traumatic events, personality, and even genetics can impact your ability to stand up for yourself if you really think about it.

However, if we break things down a bit further in one’s ability to stand, doesn’t the act of standing require a series of strategic efforts for a wanted outcome?

A human baby does not exit the womb walking. The child typically goes through a series of other types of moving before walking, correct?

If we transfer this same realm of thought to an adults’ ability to stand up for themselves, doesn’t that mean that we have to learn about what it takes within ourselves in order to be able to stand up for ourselves when it is both necessary and when it matters most?

There is no life in which you should always remain silent or “submissive”. In fact, using your voice in many ways can help you and others in countless situations.

Growth comes when we explore the potential of the future and what we want it to be.

Even after overcoming many things that could have otherwise caused me to think that I had to always cower down for my own security, peace of mind, or need for freedom of judgment, I had to learn about the many types of standing up for myself.

There is a desirable space and time in which standing up for yourself is divine and necessary, but only you can learn how to reach that target effectively.

Will that effectiveness in you standing up for yourself be questioned? Probably. Will you maybe doubt your ability to stand up for yourself before and after you do so? Maybe.

You cannot expect life to be perfect, nor can you expect everything to be understood by others.

Over and over again we have to choose to be courageous, curious, intentional, filled with integrity, and human.

Standing up will sometimes mean that we will have to crawl a bit, stumble sometimes, grab some bandages here and there, and re-lace our shoes as necessary, but each bit of effort will count toward something greater.

Getting up and trying again when it hurts, when you’re happy, when they blame you, when no one believes in you, when you are scared, when the odds are stacked against you, when all you have is the faith the size of a mustard seed is when you know that you can stand up for yourself!

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

Walk Onward

Posted on October 11, 2021October 11, 2021 by drkaylanallen

There are countless times in life when it seems like it would be easier to just stop or give up on a goal or objective. Many situations in life may cause you to question your journey, and that can be a healthy thing.

Understanding where you are and the things that you are facing sometimes means that you have to be still, but this does not move give up.

The times that you face trials in life are typically setting you up for something that you have to face in the future.

While it may be difficult to understand why you have to go through a certain season or situation, it may be necessary so that you can keep your head to the sky and walk onward.

Walking onward means that you can understand what you are facing, overcome what you must go through, and challenge yourself to keep focusing on your goals.

The challenge for many of us is that we gall into a spiral of emotions when things do not seem to be going in our favor.

When faced with a mountain of perceived difficulties, this is the time in which you have to choose to walk onward, through the rain and toward your rainbow.

When you go through your life’s storms, this may mean that you have to sludge through the mud or wipe your glasses because of the downpour. Even if this is the case, you can clear your mental processes and physical pathway to see things a bit clearer, if you shift your thinking and push forward with great effort.

If you choose to do something great with your life that is beyond your or you aim to be successful, you will run into times where the rubber meets the road of the road is more than rocky. When the path ahead of you is not easy this means that you have to try even harder.

Do not focus on how things may look in the moment. Do not allow yourself to spiral into an endless emotional roller coaster. Be kind to yourself and know that “this too shall pass”.

Walk onward and know that every step forward or backward (if that is necessary) will be worth it.

As I journey through my life in this season, there is nothing that is easy. In fact, I have questioned this journey a few times, but I know that I will never change my heart or that which I want to do to bless others. Remain true to yourself and do not allow anyone to take you out of normal behavioral pattern.

The goodness of who you are will always shine in the right places. Don’t give up EVER.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

Supersede Your Baseline Needs

Posted on September 27, 2021September 27, 2021 by drkaylanallen

For everything that you aim to do in life, I can bet that there are many other things that do not get done because you are (from time to time) too busy doing other things for other people and other reasons. Am I right?

Let’s add on to that bet…do you often find that you are only giving your needs and aims the bare minimum even though you want something great in every area of your life?

Why do we do these things to ourselves and then wonder why we haven’t gotten where we want to be? How can we push through life without ensuring that basic needs and higher goals are given a real chance?

The Basics

When was the last time that you gave yourself the love, time, dedication, and attention that you deserved? How often do you do that? This can be a struggle for many people especially students, those in leadership, parents, caregivers, and healthcare providers. What we have to understand is that we should always come first, even if we are in positions in which we always have to do things for others.

Do you cater to what your physical body needs to be well on a regular basis? It’s easy to ignore simple things like a headache or changes in moods, but what if they mean something more? It is vital that you take care of yourself inside and out as you know your body best. You cannot have the life that you want (not a sustainable one) if you are not being mindful of what you need to be feeding your body.

Do you regularly make time to do the things that you love? Fulfilling your heart’s desires is critical and it starts by feeding your heart and soul that which gives it true joy. There is nothing that you can do in life that will contribute to you ignoring what what gives you joy, peace, and freedom.

Goals

At some point or another, you had a dream or goal…what was/is it? Are you putting the work to make it come to life, piece by piece and day by day? I surely hope that you do not think that you believe that putting in minimal work infrequently is going to make your goals and dreams come to life. You have to be consistent, after all, you deserve to see what you envision become your reality.

Personal Transformation (Life and Business)

How often do you invest in yourself so that you can the next level of yourself? Evolving and becoming a better version of yourself takes time, effort, money, focus, and much effort. There are many things that you will have to do to reach new height; this means you will have to invest in yourself. You need a coach, at every turn of life, that is relatable, educated, in alignment with their goals in their life, and connected to what you want to achieve in your life. You have to do the work inside and out if we want to see change and you want those changes to last.

I have found many times over that I have to continue to analyze where I am in my life because it is how I get re-centered. Understanding the place in time of your current situations help you understand where you want to be. The knowledge of your aims and wants in life is the beginning of taking the necessary steps to make your dreams a reality.

There will always be something else that you need to do. There will always be something or someone else that needs something from you. If you do not take the time to care for yourself in and out, you may be limiting your potential.

Take the time to supersede your baseline needs, and that which you hope for will soon become yours.

Cut out what no longer serves you. Remember that you are human and have needs, emotions, and dreams. To loving be there for someone that is close to you, you have to first be there for yourself. Nothing that you want in life will fall into your life and you will not always know what next steps to take. The key in superseding your baseline needs is to be aware of the facets of your being.

*This element of positivity and these words of wisdom are all about going above and beyond in your life, in healthy and holistic ways, so that you have everything that you want, need, desire, and then some.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

No Path is Straight and Flat

Posted on September 13, 2021September 13, 2021 by drkaylanallen

No matter how we may wish for our lives and the things that we do to be easy, that is not typically the outcome.

In fact, many times in life, no path that we journey through is not straight or flat. There is no direct path to clarity, success, effective leadership, healthy relationships, or sustainable healthcare practices.

There is rarely a blueprint to even the basic levels of things that we need in order to become the next version of ourselves, but that does not mean that we cannot evolve and navigate through sustainable personal transformation. You do not need to be in the perfect life position to become the next version of yourself, but you do have to be in the right mental position.

Following a textbook, findings from evidence-based research, experiences of others, and perspectives of those around you may work for a short while, but soon you will find that it takes a lot more to be successful at every level of your life.

More often than not, one can assume that they know the answer to everything that comes their way, but without dedication to altering thought processes and familiar behaviors, there is no way to perform at the highest levels and find yourself in healthy spaces throughout your life.

People that want the best for their lives in all aspects must come to an awareness that continuous evolution and deep-rooted curiosity are vital. Coaching is an excellent source of initiating and navigating through your next seasons of life.

When was the last time that you analyzed your life as it presently is? No matter when that was, the deeper question is whether or not you were able to understand the truth of the ways that you need to change. Awareness of the need for change and seeking real help is how we move beyond a path toward success in work and life.

At every turn along your path of life, you may need a different viewpoint, clearer perspective, or a little bit more of what makes you unique. So, why not grant yourself exactly what you need. No fears. No doubts. No doing it alone when you know that you need more guidance, clarity, or accountability.

My path in life is anything but straight, flat, clear, or easy; many times it has been difficult to bear. The greatest thing about my path and awareness of its twists and turns is my choice to continue to evolve even when things are not easy.

Choose yourself and your potential over and over again, and you will see that your efforts are always worth it and your bumpy road will lead you where you need to go.

I dare you to put your money, efforts, and time into something that will positively and sustainably change your life from the inside out.

Be blessed and be at peace.

–KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.