Tag: Positivity

Don't Sway In The Wind

Don’t Sway In The Wind

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Being a stronghold in your world as life switches, twists, and turns is a valuable and key part of becoming successful and the next version of who you are supposed to be.

Getting caught in the wind and flowing with the breeze, no matter which way it may turn, is not only going to deter your path, but it may also stop you from reaching your destination.

Having your feet firmly planted in life can be difficult, but readjusting when that difficulty arises may be the key to ensuring your next steps can be taken.

When life is grand and simple, we can run, skip, jump, and maybe twirl along the path because there may not be any obstacles along the way. In this space, enjoy every moment and take advantage of the opportunities set before you. There will be many times like this, and it is up to you to acknowledge that you have this exceptional and rare time in front of you. 

However, when life is not so easy, you must remember that you are in control even still.

For me, God is the stronghold in my life and always will be. Many times, I could have rolled along like tumbleweed or swayed in the wind like a tree in the forest, but I didn’t do that. I understood that God had something greater for me, so I could not walk in that path because if I did, I could not become who I am now nor who I am called to be. 

Swaying in the wind not only affects you, it affects everyone and everything around you. 

Always know that you are a person, being, entity, brand, and visionary that is Earth-shaking, life-changing, and a gift to so many people if only you tap into and hold firm to everything that makes you who you are and multiply that times infinity.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

 
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Celebrating Life

Celebrating Life

Posted on by drkaylanallen

When did it become a challenge for so many of us to pause and remember to celebrate life in the ways that makes us happy?

This year as I celebrated another year of life, I made it a point to do a few things that I like to do and I took some time to think about why it was such a big deal to do so.

Are you the kind of person that loves to celebrate other people, plan birthday celebrations, find special birthday cards and do all sorts of kind things when a time for celebration arises? Lots of us are. 

There are countless events that happen in our lives, but how often do we take the time to do the things that we would like to do to celebrate them?

When you celebrate yourself, put yourself at the center of the celebration and do not worry about who will be there or who will like what they see. No celebration of your life or event within it is for the show of others, it has to be about what will make you happy.

Only when you can say that you were happy about the life celebrations that you carry out, will you know that you are doing the right thing for you.

For my birthday I did so many things from artsy things to yummy food things and all of it made me happy first and foremost. After going through so many things in life, from overcoming domestic violence to the challenges of finding my voice, I had to figure out what it meant to celebrate myself and be okay with it. I’m honored to know what that means and love it 100%!

When you know what it means to celebrate special moments your way, you cannot let it go because the joy and feelings that it brings will change everything forever.

There is nothing like celebrating your life authentically and not worrying about judgment. There is no time like the present to start being phenomenally you every day!

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

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Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

How do you focus on your goals and keep going forward when you think the odds are stacked against you? 

We, as mixed girls, can sometimes go through life being told that because we are different, there will be nothing that we can do that will be easy. 

We can also be told that everything will come to us without problems. 

Both of those statements have no actual validity, and it is up to you to know that if you want to reach your goals, you must stay focused and check off your list as you move forward. 

No one can tell your story or dictate your life and what it is made of except you. 

The challenges that you overcome, the methods in which you strive for greatness, the courage that you house inside your DNA are to be understood by you and only you. 

In life, one of your greatest missions is to recall who you are at your core, no matter what you face or what goals you aim to achieve. 

Bind your passion to your goals and let nothing that holds no real value break your focus because you are worth far more than that.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

Letter Entitled: “Goal List – Check Off and Keep Going”

 

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

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Life Is Today

Life Is Today

Posted on by drkaylanallen

No matter how you view time: minutes, hours, moments, days, work shifts, etc. there will always be another point of view and another way that you can adjust your thoughts on time.

It can be hard to understand time if you are living moment by moment or paycheck by paycheck, but it is quite necessary to shift your perception if you wish to have something more than what you are accustomed to.

Past, present, and future are all elements are time that we cling to, but what I like to think that if we are alive today then our present shows us that not only are we granted life, but our lives are also today.

The past life you conquered, the future is life to undertake, the present is life to gain wisdom from and embrace.

While we fuss about the challenges and run through the moments of laughter, we must remember that we have today to live and keep trying.

There are no challenges that cannot be faced with adequate efforts. If you choose to dwell in difficulties, you may find that you are dragging yourself in the mud when you could have otherwise been regrouping.

There is no happiness that you do not deserve if you are working hard, being a good person, and challenging yourself over and over again to level up.

I have many times been met with people, circumstances, and situations that caused me to question when tomorrows would arrive that could erase the difficulties of today. Eventually tomorrows would come (of course), but I learned that in order to get to tomorrow you have to be willing to face today. I’m a much stronger and wiser person these days because of what I learned many years ago, and I now carry those lessons as wisdom to share with others.

If you can understand that your life is today, you also know that everything that is happening in your life is like a grain of sand – sometimes it may be seemingly insignificant alone (it may be all that you can as it is so small), but so powerful and precious in larger quantities (if it lingers or builds up) if you think about it. 

Life is no magic trick, a moment in time, a grain of sand, nor something to be taken for granted; it is to be lived wisely today. Your life is today, it is happening right now, and it will continue to move forward as long as you are in this physical world, so what will you do with it? Will you make the most of every moment by evolving and transforming yourself from the inside out, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable?

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

How is your life’s destination different from where you began?

Your origins or a set pathway do not entirely determine your destination in life.

Creation is only a part of who you are.

You have the power to accept that your destination is crafted and, in some ways, altered before your eyes.

As you learn about your life, embrace who you are, and experience bumps in the road, you can take hold of the steering wheel of your life.

No one can force you to become something you are not, nor can they decide where you will go.

Your destination is a journey to be appreciated and valued with you at the center of that perspective.

When you are in the driver’s seat along your diverse and unique journey, you have the chance to appreciate the view, pierce the veil of the world around you, and cruise toward your destination because your heart and soul have power over that which is in your rearview mirror.

– Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

“My Destination Is Mine”

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

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Servitude Without Self-Serving Feelings

Servitude Without Self-Serving Feelings

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Giving is a gift in itself, and we do this very action in countless ways every day.

Serving others is one way that we change the world one moment at a time.

It is important to remember throughout every giving season of life that when we are in positions of servitude that we are giving from a space that is not self-serving or for some reward.

Gifts given in return whether on Earth or in Heaven are beautiful and blessing, but we should give because it is the right thing to do, not just because we expect to receive something in return.

Apply this lesson of servitude without selfishness to business, love, family relationships, volunteering, etc. and know that the message is the same. 

When we can give with a loving heart, we notice that there is a difference in the way that we carry ourselves, how we our efforts are delivered, and the way that we feel once our deeds have been completed.

This year I chose to spend a lot of time in humanitarian efforts and mentoring and it has been empowering in so many ways. I wanted to give back to women in spaces of leadership, public health, education, and those overcoming life difficulties while personal evolving. I learned a lot about these ladies, and they challenged me to think deeper about life lessons that I have gathered along the way. They also taught me about how strong they were; I could not help but to be proud of them at every turn.

Tapping into what makes you who you are, using what you have learned, utilizing your education and things you are learning as you grow are all way spaces in which you can serve without being self-serving – all of these things are gifts and blessings to others that you can mold and shape along the way.

Servitude can be:

A paying career/thriving business

Humanitarian efforts/volunteering work

Virtually free from self-serving/ego and prideful feelings

Servitude is a gift that we can grant in all spaces of life, but the way that we deliver these gifts will influence the giver and the receiver.

Choose to serve in a way that is for the good of others. Being a humanitarian in ways that are connected to your hearts and gifts will nourish your soul while you bless others. If you do these works and live with a mindset of servitude without self-serving feelings or desires, you will see how much of a difference your gifts can make in the lives of others.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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It's About Staying, Not Winning

It’s About Staying, Not Winning

Posted on by drkaylanallen

On various occasions when I consider the journey of life that I have walked through I wonder how (in some cases) I was able to make it to this point; of course, I know that most of that is God. Quite frankly, if I had to redo any of some of the more difficult seasons of life, I do not know that I could have endured them in the same manner that I did and do so with such strength, courage, or blind faith…but God.

For those of us that long for something greater in life, we choose to seek something beyond what we are familiar with. With that newness comes a reason to search for something that is fresh, to be hoped for, and even a little scary.

As we go through the steps that it takes to get through various steps to hold strong to positive momentum, there can be waves of momentum, feelings of self-doubt, misalignment with desires, happiness, confusion, a possible need to make a change, and everything in between.

When you embark on a journey toward your greater self, you have to remember that your focus requires that you stay present not that you always win.

There is no perfect path, no certain number of wins that you are supposed to have in order to be successful, and no destination that has to be reached in order for you to find true joy that you can house forever.

The reality in this life is that you have to stay focus on the things that make you who you are.

You have to be so determined to achieve what you want in life that even you when you do trip, stumble, or fall, that getting up and learning from those missteps is something that you look forward to doing.

Staying along your path toward your goal does not have to mean that you must stay in the exact same space, mind frame, or even around the same people, so please keep that in mind.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned is that one way or another there will be people (some who look like you and others who do not), places, and things that will get in the way and you have to be able to adjust (in your time) so that you can continue to make waves in your ocean of life.

Sometimes a win may masquerade itself as missed opportunity, broken promise, series of bias, or lost relationship – be grateful for it all.

Sometimes staying means simply staying in love with your passion.

Nothing along the theme and practice of reaching goals is scripted, which is why we all have a unique story and testimony. 

Do not worry if you story is not panning out the way that you may have wanted it to. 

Stay focused on your goals, count your blessings, and be grateful for the “wins” and “losses”.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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Stand Up For Yourself

Stand Up For Yourself

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Many factors likely contribute to your ability to stand up for yourself. 

Things such as your characters, upbringing, life experiences, traumatic events, personality, and even genetics can impact your ability to stand up for yourself if you really think about it.

However, if we break things down a bit further in one’s ability to stand, doesn’t the act of standing require a series of strategic efforts for a wanted outcome?

A human baby does not exit the womb walking. The child typically goes through a series of other types of moving before walking, correct? 

If we transfer this same realm of thought to an adults’ ability to stand up for themselves, doesn’t that mean that we have to learn about what it takes within ourselves in order to be able to stand up for ourselves when it is both necessary and when it matters most?

There is no life in which you should always remain silent or “submissive”. In fact, using your voice in many ways can help you and others in countless situations.

Growth comes when we explore the potential of the future and what we want it to be.

Even after overcoming many things that could have otherwise caused me to think that I had to always cower down for my own security, peace of mind, or need for freedom of judgment, I had to learn about the many types of standing up for myself.

There is a desirable space and time in which standing up for yourself is divine and necessary, but only you can learn how to reach that target effectively.

Will that effectiveness in you standing up for yourself be questioned? Probably. Will you maybe doubt your ability to stand up for yourself before and after you do so? Maybe.

You cannot expect life to be perfect, nor can you expect everything to be understood by others. 

Over and over again we have to choose to be courageous, curious, intentional, filled with integrity, and human.

Standing up will sometimes mean that we will have to crawl a bit, stumble sometimes, grab some bandages here and there, and re-lace our shoes as necessary, but each bit of effort will count toward something greater.

Getting up and trying again when it hurts, when you’re happy, when they blame you, when no one believes in you, when you are scared, when the odds are stacked against you, when all you have is the faith the size of a mustard seed is when you know that you can stand up for yourself!

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below. 

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Walk Onward

Walk Onward

Posted on by drkaylanallen

There are countless times in life when it seems like it would be easier to just stop or give up on a goal or objective. Many situations in life may cause you to question your journey, and that can be a healthy thing. 

Understanding where you are and the things that you are facing sometimes means that you have to be still, but this does not move give up.

The times that you face trials in life are typically setting you up for something that you have to face in the future. 

While it may be difficult to understand why you have to go through a certain season or situation, it may be necessary so that you can keep your head to the sky and walk onward.

Walking onward means that you can understand what you are facing, overcome what you must go through, and challenge yourself to keep focusing on your goals.

The challenge for many of us is that we gall into a spiral of emotions when things do not seem to be going in our favor.

When faced with a mountain of perceived difficulties, this is the time in which you have to choose to walk onward, through the rain and toward your rainbow.

When you go through your life’s storms, this may mean that you have to sludge through the mud or wipe your glasses because of the downpour. Even if this is the case, you can clear your mental processes and physical pathway to see things a bit clearer, if you shift your thinking and push forward with great effort.

If you choose to do something great with your life that is beyond your or you aim to be successful, you will run into times where the rubber meets the road of the road is more than rocky. When the path ahead of you is not easy this means that you have to try even harder.

Do not focus on how things may look in the moment. Do not allow yourself to spiral into an endless emotional roller coaster. Be kind to yourself and know that “this too shall pass”. 

Walk onward and know that every step forward or backward (if that is necessary) will be worth it. 

As I journey through my life in this season, there is nothing that is easy. In fact, I have questioned this journey a few times, but I know that I will never change my heart or that which I want to do to bless others. Remain true to yourself and do not allow anyone to take you out of normal behavioral pattern.

The goodness of who you are will always shine in the right places. Don’t give up EVER.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

 

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

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Cancer Sucks: Light Amongst the Shadows

Cancer Sucks: Light Amongst the Shadows

Posted on by drkaylanallen

One of the most difficult things to face in life is an illness. 

Whether you are the one facing the illness or someone that you love is the one that is directly impacted, illnesses are so hard to walk through.

While I rarely share some facets of my life, I find that this message is important to share. My fiancé is facing oral cancer. CANCER SUCKS!!! His case is treatable and curable, but to know what is present and what is to come makes things difficult. While many people face cancer, most people are never prepared for it. Nonetheless, I will continue to very present, caring, and supportive with a large dose of hugs, listening ears, and a shoulder to lean on from time to time.

He is being very strong, has a great medical support team, and is being tended to by one of the best cancer centers.  There are truly no major worries. He is taking good care of himself (diet and health all-around) and preparing for what is to come in terms of how he will be cured (oral surgery, free fibula surgery, and all). I’m here for the long run and will do everything in my power to be a source of strength, understanding, validation, love, and more through it all. Cancer sucks, but my God is bigger than all things that may have been meant to deter paths and break hearts.

I feel what he is going through, after all we have been together for five and a half years and we are deeply connected.

The whirl of emotions that are connected to cancer and treatment are so multifaceted. There is a roller coaster that is to come, but I am learning the deeper connection between positivity and it’s real meaning especially when things are difficult and beyond our control. I’m human and have my own experiences with this journey, but sometimes it is hard to do the day-to-day basics. 

While we all go through so many challenging and heartbreaking things in life, it is so important that we do whatever we can to find the light amongst the shadows along our paths.

There may be days when we cannot process the pain we face when someone else is the one that hurts, but that does not mean that we are not allowed to feel whatever we feel. I’ve felt sad, frustrated, concerned, and worried, but I’ve also felt hope, 

Positivity is what we make of it. Life is full of turmoil, joy, sadness, growth, and everything in between, but we can’t allow the difficulties to take over life.

While my other half and I navigate this journey, I’m going to be challenged in many ways and pushed to continue living life and move forward in the coming days, weeks, and months, but God is on my side and faith and hope live and breath at the core at my relationship.

No matter what challenges you may face in life, you can always find a glimmer of hope if you tap into real elements of positivity like the ability to overcome and being mindful of what your heart soul need.

I’m not seeking sympathy or asking anyone for anything as our needs our met and our path is blessed in more ways than we know.  Cancer sucks…it just does!

What I aim to do is be real, allow this “experience” to further shape my life and my relationship according to God’s will, and allow myself to feel everything. I understand that my best is good enough and I also know that my emotions are okay.

When you face life’s most difficult battles, I encourage you to just be. I implore you to seek that which you need and be intentional in doing so. Don’t hold in the pain; share it in a safe and non-judgmental place.

Today I am okay, tomorrow I may cry…through it all I will remain true to myself, my feelings, and be a loving and supporting partner in this journey. 

I didn’t know how to share this part of my story, but I’m glad that I am glad that I am recording it in my own way (and I will continue to do so).

Be strong when you can and cry when when you must. There is no right or wrong way to navigate through something like what we are facing.

Life is not always pretty, but it is always worth living…so sayeth I.

Today and always it is my hope that you will…

Be blessed and be at peace.

–KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.