Category: KayLa’s Positivity Corner Blog

Where You Are Right Now

Where You Are Right Now

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Take a look at the world around you.

Now take a look at the life you lead.

When you think of the world that you want to see, do you see yourself achieving your own level of greatness?

Through personal transformation and character development we often fall short in the department of self-awareness.

Formally make a list of where you are right now and compare it to a list of where you were five years ago. When you do so, if you have been putting in the necessary work, you will see stark differences. If you do not see any difference between the two lists then it may be time to make some changes in your day-to-day activities.

Charting out a schedule that includes a moment to be aware of where you are in life is an asset to your growth.

Being strategic about your growth is a necessary challenge that we all must face from time to time. Believing in the power of your journey starts with you and a heavy dose of alignment. 

Even if you feel like you are not yet where you want to be, be thankful and grateful for where you are right now. For if you can be appreciative of where you are now, there is a greater chance for you to successfully design the life you want to have. 

What if we always created patterns of awareness and growth? Do you know how far we could travel through our individual growth journeys.

Don’t just be a viewer of your evolution and transformation, be an active participant.

When looking at my journey and current space in the world, I am in awe of my progress and aware of the reasons for my deterred path. All in all, my life’s journey may not look like other people’s progress, but without the twists and turns of my path I would not be who or where I am now.

Take a moment to honor your current position in life and then put in the world to paint the real picture that you want to see.

Honor your truth now and design your future with realistic goals that you can achieve.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

 Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving futures.

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Push Beyond Your Limits

Push Beyond Your Limits

Posted on by drkaylanallen

There are times when you feel like you are tired and full of anxiety or weariness. It is in those moments that you have to decide are you going to continue to push yourself or if you are going to hit the pause button for a brief moment in time.

It is important to listen to what your body tells you. Sometimes your body may be telling you that it’s time to rest. Other times you have to understand that even if you are feeling full of anxiety or some kind of distress you have to continue to push beyond your limits. If you find yourself in a moment where you can’t decide which to do it may be best to pause and meditate.

Sometimes just beyond that space of limitation, there is a space where you are supposed to be. You have to understand that some days are going to be difficult and be okay with that period however you also need to understand that if you do not push yourself beyond what you think is a limit you may never reach the level of success clarity understanding joy happiness or even love that you so desire.

Too many people get trapped in a space of comfort when they are really supposed to be in a space of discomfort. No one ever achieves their goals by sitting around or accepting mediocrity.

On the days that I see that I am full of anxiety, I have to pause. I have to realize and be okay with the fact that maybe I am having a mental health day that I need to focus on myself and really take care of myself.

Now, understand that some people will not get that you need to pause that you need to reflect, or even that you need to push beyond what they perceive to be your limits but it’s not their job to do so. No matter what, you must push beyond your limits and look to the sky as you will soon see that the push (however that looks for you) is worth every moment of struggle.

On the journey to finding where you’re supposed to be in life after you have put in the work that is, no that sometimes you have to uproot yourself mentally sometimes you have to push into another dimension that you didn’t even think existed. The challenge in this is being okay with the unknown.

Do not grant yourself the opportunity for the thought of regret when you could give yourself the gift of pushing beyond your limit.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

 Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving futures.

Level Up!
Peace You Can Keep

Peace You Can Keep

Posted on by drkaylanallen

When many people think of peace, they think of a quiet moment or a vacation.

Contemplate on what it means to have peace. Now, if you could multiply that by 100, how would that feel?

The element of peace is not something that is fleeting. In fact, it is an essential part of a flourishing life.

Peace is a practice that many people never think to incorporate into their lifestyles.

What if it was possible to hold on to peace? 

The power of real peace presents people with a space in which they can be deeper thinkers and live their lives in less stress.

It takes courage to work toward owning peace in your life, but without it, you cannot live a limitless life.

The challenge for most of us is that we rarely take the time to find a way to tap into peace so that it can fuel our lives.

Sure, a moment of peace or a vacation is great but at some point it is over. 

Perhaps, in the search for true and sustainable peace, struggling through courage would be more beneficial than not.

If you can think about the consistency that it takes to workout and get the results that you want, you can imagine how much effort is require to  make the changes in your life that you really want.

Take that same notion in regard to working out and applying it to the dedication it takes to find peace. 

You are in charge of your day-to-day, so why not spend some time each day looking for peace that you can keep?

The more effort you put in, the more you will get out of your life.

Think about it…

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a doctoral candidate, motivational speaker at the national level, thought leader, transformational coach, and expert on shaping thriving futures.

They're Not Your Friends

They’re Not Your Friends

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Too often we use the word “friend” too loosely. Have you ever taken the time to analyze and process what friendship means for you?

There are several questions that you need to ask yourself before you consider someone to be your friend. There are even more questions that you need to ask yourself if you are going to treat someone like they are your friend.

Consider these questions:

Who are your friends?

When you communicate, what are you talking about?

Do your “friends” only call you when they need something?

Do these people you consider loved ones only talk to you when they want to be applauded?

Have you only started considering someone to be your “friend” because they have been around for years?

Are you “friends” with someone and feel obligated to do everything they invite you to because it is “political”?

Do you find yourself always starting a conversation with your “friends” and they never call, text, or message you first (one-sided friendships)?

Do you allow your “friends” to mistreat you intentionally?

Are you fearful of helping your “friend” grow and evolve?

Are people your “friends” because they have done (or still do) something for you?

If after you explore all of these questions, and any others they may pop up, you feel odd, confused, frustrated, worried or angry, understand that there are several serious red flags that you need to pay attention to.

A lot of times we get into the mindset that everyone is a friend if we like them, relate to them, spend time with them, or gain something from the relationship. 

If you have a person that you call your friend, you need to understand what that means for you and how it impacts your life.

Over the years I have lost lots of people that I labeled as “friends”, but if I did not go through that phase I would not have a new definition of friendship or the necessary and present qualities of friends that I have now.

Understand that you do not have to call everyone your friend. You deserve high quality friendships that are fruitful, logical, healthy, and respectful.

Be blessed and be at peace.

KayLa’s Positivity Corner

 

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a doctoral candidate, motivational speaker at the national level, thought leader, transformational coach, and expert on shaping thriving futures.

Ask & Be Prepared

Ask & Be Prepared

Posted on by drkaylanallen

So many people pray for things that they want in life. We often create vision boards and even become chatty about that which we hope for. Have you ever thought about what you want and how it is going to happen?

If you have ever prayed and then said “If God is willing”, then you may be missing opportunities. If you have ever taken one step and then told yourself that you have done all that you can, you are probably not valuing all that you are capable of. That which you want for your life can be yours with a vision, actions, and true preparation.

“Ask and ye shall receive” is much more than a phrase or concept. You have to understand that you cannot simply ask for something. You cannot simply put some detailed vision on a board and expect it to pop off and become your wildest dream.

A dream and vision are a part of your greater plan. Every year, I evolve my vision board and greatly appreciate all that I have accomplished. With the achievements come the bumps and bruises, but it is all worth it.

Last year I found myself wanting things that I was not yet equipped for. I was bound by a space and time, and it wasn’t until I was rid of it that I was able to set myself free and get fully prepared for what is a part of my destiny.

If you are not ready, but you are asking for bigger and better, you will not be able to receive what you need to succeed and still manage it well.

Being prepared for success is a mindset, lifestyle, and evolved set of circumstances. Do you think that you are truly prepared for what you dream of? If so, take inventory on your life and really think about that answer in depth.

I guarantee that if you have come from a place of lack, have experienced trauma, have experienced brokenness, currently are struggling, or you have endured life as it is instead of challenging it with an equipped and competent mind, you have some more work to do. This is nothing against you – remember I have been through all of that and then some, and I am still climbing the ladder before me.

Treat your experiences as wisdom, keep watering your mental garden, and equip yourself with Dr. KayLa N. Allen as your transformation coach. She can help you evolve your life inside and out so that the next time that you “ask” you will be all the more prepared to receive.

Be blessed and be at peace.

KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a doctoral candidate, motivational speaker at the national level, thought leader, transformational coach, and expert on shaping thriving futures.

Advice & Experiences

Advice & Experiences

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Advice from the right spaces, time, and people can lessen the load of life, decrease stress, and generate levels of wisdom that would have taken much more time. One thing that people often do is place themselves in situations where they are sharing their struggles and getting advice from people who do not have the experiences or wisdom to truly help them.  Have you ever shared a little too much with someone and quickly realized that it was a mistake?  I have.

Sharing yourself with someone that you trust is one of the greatest parts of life. However, when this is done in ignorance, naivety, or a rush, it can be detrimental.

In business, if you seek assistance or mentorship from a leader that does not practice what they preach, there will be unseen struggles that will arise.  A title does not always equate to competence or proof of concept.  See, often people find themselves in a heap of mess because they sought advice from someone who did not have similar experiences.

When you are looking for a coach or mentor, you need to be sure that the wisdom, messaging, and teachings that you are to receive come from a place of authenticity and proven practices that are rooted in evidence-based practices.

About two years ago I found myself at a national conference and I connected with someone that I thought would be an excellent mentor. Her business track record was phenomenal, and her expertise was undeniable. One thing that I did not question was her character and motives. WHAT A MISTAKE! She fed me lies, set me up for failure, and dished out more broken promises than I can count. If I would have begged her to take me under her wing (which she had already said she did), I would have been so disappointed. I gave it a short amount of time and then came to the realization that she really didn’t care, and it was all for show!

When people do not share your experiences, understand where you come from, or have the proof that they have already overcome the things that you are facing, how can they be added value to your life? This is not to say that people cannot be genuinely empathetic. People can try to understand and try to relate, but there is much to be said about showing the fruit of your labor. If you find that you need advice for anything in your life, don’t just turn to the first open mouth, listening ear, or shoulder to cry out. Do you work and make good decisions that will benefit your future.

Be blessed and be at peace.

Goodness Isn't Easy

Goodness Isn’t Easy

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Leading your life is a space of potential goodness is never easy. You will often find that you are questioning your own motives, but that is a good space to be in. Only when you are analyzing your steps and efforts can you have clarity on who you are in this life.

When you find that your goodness and clear objectives are being misjudged you will have no choice but to learn that it’s not easy to be a good person. Boy, oh boy, this is the time that you step up all that you are! You put a smile on your face, honor who you are, and remain proud that you are true to yourself, your morals, and your values.

Countless people have “made it” by degrading themselves, doing evil things, and hurting people along the way with no other intent than to benefit. That’s no way to live and it will eat you alive forever. The best way to lead life is to be a good person, even when others think that you are up to no good.

Your goodness is not a show to be broadcasted or best received by the world. You are to be a good person because it is the right thing to do and it will benefit your life in the long run. The challenge will always be inside of you. No one is owed an explanation nor a definition of who you are or what you are doing.

The louder the outside noise gets the more difficult it is to hear your own heart and soul. It is best to always give yourself internal love so that you can keep up the mission to be a good person.

If you are living your life to be well-known or rich, your morals are not in the right place; this could lead to making a lot of needless mistakes and negative choices. Stay in-tune with why you care about the impact of your goodness.

I write, speak, and lead in spaces of transformation because I know how it feels to be on the bottom and what it feels like to struggle as I navigate toward the top. I humble myself and remain true to my identity because it proves that I am not only an expert, but I am a human that has chosen to continue to fight for what I want (in myself and for others) regardless of what the past has shown me.

People may try to say that your goodness is a lie or pointless, but that is so far from the truth. Your goodness is a task, but I promise that it will always be worth it. Look into your heart and know that all that you are aiming to be will benefit from your goodness and hard work. Never give up when you know that you are a light in a world that holds so much darkness.

Be blessed and be at peace.

Embrace Your Scars

Embrace Your Scars

Posted on by drkaylanallen

No matter what you face in life, there will be countless situations, circumstances, and lessons that will bring forth scars. When times are difficult and you find yourself feeling sad, disappointed, frustrated, and at your wit’s ends, remember that scars that may come about will hold a world of lessons.

Embracing your scars that are gained from life lessons will alter the way that you live day to day. Sometimes it may seem easier to hide your scars or cover them, and it is your decision to do so. However, even if you hide them from others, you must still embrace them for your own good.

Life can be such a pain, every day. I know that when I am facing a difficult task or having to make a decision that is hard, I have to embrace every part of it. The only way that we can grow is by navigating the waters that we face.

If embracing your scars means that you have to wear a bandage, stand strong, and share what is the source of your scars when you want to, please do so.

We all have scars from something and when they are re-opened it is so difficult to recover, but not impossible. Think of embracing your scars as giving yourself a warm embrace when the scars come to the forefront of your mind.

A scar comes from a source of hurt, but sometimes the things that hurt us can change our lives in the greatest ways possible.

If you run from what has made you who you are, are you really becoming who you are called to be? OR Are you becoming who the world wants you to be?

Think about wearing a mask that covers your entire face; when you do this you are showing what you want someone to see. You are challenging your identity for what may look or be received in a better light. The truth of your identity is waiting to be released if only you are willing to take the good and “bad” of your life and alter how you perceive it. You owe yourself strength and that can come from all that you have learned the hard way.

Embrace what makes you who you are, don’t stray away. It is my hope that you take what was made to try and break you and turn that into a great achievement in your life.

Be blessed and be at peace.

Notifications Not Demands

Notifications Not Demands

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Our phones in many ways have become lifelines and a source of constant engagement. Frequently, we find ourselves jumping at the sound of a message, email, or some other notification. Do you ever think about not allowing your phone to rule your day?

If you see that you are running to address your phone, you may need to re-evaluate why it means so much for you to be attached to your phone.

There are lots of videos and exciting things that are on social media that can eat away at our time. If you think about it when you take the time to continuously address your phone as if it is a newborn that is crying, what are you sacrificing?

What is the value of your time? What do you do with your free time?

Every moment is a point of access that you can put in the effort to become something greater. If you ever find yourself wanting to change your life, do you think that time in your phone ALL DAY LONG is going to help you reach new levels?

When I know that I have things to do, I put in a world of internal fighting that encourages and benefits my ability to reach my goals. Sometimes that means that I toss my phone away from me so that I cannot reach it. Other times, it means turning off my data/Wi-Fi so that even if I get the nerve to touch my phone, I would have to put in extra effort to get to social media apps or sites.

Time is so valuable, so when you jump at the sound of a notification you are proclaiming that there is an immediate demand for your attention (which typically is not true).

With every moment that you have, you must decide what you will do with it and stick to that. Don’t stray away from what you want. Stand strong in what you want and remember that a full range of effort can come from the time that you grant yourself and your loved ones. Don’t be that person that believes that your phone is more important than what is around you.

I firmly believe that wasted time leads to broken opportunities.

The next time that you catch yourself heeding the demands of your notifications, address it internally so that you can make sure that you are leading the life that is beneficial to your wanted future. Be blessed and be at peace.

The next time that you catch yourself heeding the demands of your notifications, address it internally so that you can make sure that you are leading the life that is beneficial to your wanted future.

Be blessed and be at peace.

Recovering Hope

Recovering Hope

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Stress, concerns, brokenness, and many other difficult circumstances can put people in a whirlwind of feelings and behaviors. What happens when we choose to recover the hope that once lived inside of us? What would happen if you let go of any pain that may be holding you back from being prosperous, joyful, and successful?

How we hold onto the things that drive our hope can determine the direction that we go in with all of our efforts. Think about how much time and energy is drained when we live in a moment of high concern. So much can be taken away when the joy inside of us when we don’t take good care of ourselves and limit that which stresses us most.

Recovering hope is much like mud in a field after heavy rain; once the sun comes out again, the ground dries, and yet there is still growth. The only things that linger are those that we allow. If you wish to be successful you cannot allow things to hold weight if they are not for your good. Take some time to rationalize, communicate, and address any internal feelings that are inside of you, honor your truth, then recover your hope. Only you can regulate hope and faith in your life.

Travel through a moment in time and think about a day when hope was so much more than a glimmer in your eye. Hope at some point or another becomes joy, truth, ambition, faith, love, and so much more. Think about how a moment like that felt for you and how much it impacted your life. Recall that feeling when it feels like hope is lost, because it can carry you through your difficulties.

There have been a few times in my life when the days seemed so dark, the night dreadfully long, and my hope all but lost. I had to allow myself to live in and through that. Only in the time that I chose to keep searching for the light could I recover the hope that has always lived inside of me.

No challenge is small, but you have power over them all. If you can manage to keep your eyes focused on what you want for your life, you can always recover your hope.

There is so much good in the world and so many opportunities to be great for yourself and others. Never give up and know that you are not alone in your aim to lead in your life and be a light in the world.

If you are ready to level up, visit DRKAYLANALLEN.COM today and prepare to change your life in ways that you have worked so hard for.

Be blessed and be at peace.

#KayLasPositivityCorner