KayLa's Positivity Corner Blog Archives

Stand Up For Yourself

Posted on November 8, 2021November 8, 2021 by drkaylanallen

Many factors likely contribute to your ability to stand up for yourself.

Things such as your characters, upbringing, life experiences, traumatic events, personality, and even genetics can impact your ability to stand up for yourself if you really think about it.

However, if we break things down a bit further in one’s ability to stand, doesn’t the act of standing require a series of strategic efforts for a wanted outcome?

A human baby does not exit the womb walking. The child typically goes through a series of other types of moving before walking, correct?

If we transfer this same realm of thought to an adults’ ability to stand up for themselves, doesn’t that mean that we have to learn about what it takes within ourselves in order to be able to stand up for ourselves when it is both necessary and when it matters most?

There is no life in which you should always remain silent or “submissive”. In fact, using your voice in many ways can help you and others in countless situations.

Growth comes when we explore the potential of the future and what we want it to be.

Even after overcoming many things that could have otherwise caused me to think that I had to always cower down for my own security, peace of mind, or need for freedom of judgment, I had to learn about the many types of standing up for myself.

There is a desirable space and time in which standing up for yourself is divine and necessary, but only you can learn how to reach that target effectively.

Will that effectiveness in you standing up for yourself be questioned? Probably. Will you maybe doubt your ability to stand up for yourself before and after you do so? Maybe.

You cannot expect life to be perfect, nor can you expect everything to be understood by others.

Over and over again we have to choose to be courageous, curious, intentional, filled with integrity, and human.

Standing up will sometimes mean that we will have to crawl a bit, stumble sometimes, grab some bandages here and there, and re-lace our shoes as necessary, but each bit of effort will count toward something greater.

Getting up and trying again when it hurts, when you’re happy, when they blame you, when no one believes in you, when you are scared, when the odds are stacked against you, when all you have is the faith the size of a mustard seed is when you know that you can stand up for yourself!

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures. Learn more about her services and how you can begin your journey through business and personal evolution by clicking the button below.

Strategies for Prosperity

Posted on October 27, 2021October 27, 2021 by drkaylanallen

Prosperity is something that is waiting for all of us if we are willing to put in the working, both inside and out. The strategies and steps that we need to take may look different from person to person, but there are often several tools that each of us can use to make sure that prosperity can become more than a word.

Let’s dissect a few of them now so that you can start applying your new wisdom today.

Feeding Your Mind

The things that we place into our minds at every level are key to the outcomes that we will see in the future. Education, whether through certifications, trainings, or some other form of higher learning will not only shape your competency, it will begin to change the way that your mind works in many ways. Growth starts inside, in many ways. Put in the work, feed your mind what serves as fuel. What challenges you in ways that makes you think, reflect, and get curious? When you know this answer, use your learning style to apply new teachings, methods, thought to your life.

Planting Seeds in the World Around You

One of the greatest things that we can do is to give back that which we learn. Countless times, we learn lessons in life that are so powerful and we grow from them, but how often are those very lessons given back to others. With every major lesson that I learn in life, I value being able to give back nuggets of wisdom to be able to help others. Planting seeds in the world is a form of developing prosperity in impact, not financial impact necessarily, but from the heart and soul; there is not greater gift than that, right?

Restructuring Your Daily/Regular Practices

The way that you carry on today should not be the same tomorrow. This is a space in which many people can find some concerns because it is easy to carry on with the familiar. Growth requires some change and this means that you have to change the way that you carry on in the day-to-day as a person in your regular and business life.

Knowing That Your Works Are Growing Outcomes

You can put in as much work as you like, but if you are not allowing yourself a space of reflection, recall, clarity, and paying attention to what is happening right in front of you, you may miss out on something that is changing your life. Growth is happening whether we see it or not, but the way that it is happening may not always be known. Just as a tree evolves throughout the seasons, you can and should as well. Know that your change may be happening in the shadows or in the light, but the growth is always visible when you look inside of yourself.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Walk Onward

Posted on October 11, 2021October 11, 2021 by drkaylanallen

There are countless times in life when it seems like it would be easier to just stop or give up on a goal or objective. Many situations in life may cause you to question your journey, and that can be a healthy thing.

Understanding where you are and the things that you are facing sometimes means that you have to be still, but this does not move give up.

The times that you face trials in life are typically setting you up for something that you have to face in the future.

While it may be difficult to understand why you have to go through a certain season or situation, it may be necessary so that you can keep your head to the sky and walk onward.

Walking onward means that you can understand what you are facing, overcome what you must go through, and challenge yourself to keep focusing on your goals.

The challenge for many of us is that we gall into a spiral of emotions when things do not seem to be going in our favor.

When faced with a mountain of perceived difficulties, this is the time in which you have to choose to walk onward, through the rain and toward your rainbow.

When you go through your life’s storms, this may mean that you have to sludge through the mud or wipe your glasses because of the downpour. Even if this is the case, you can clear your mental processes and physical pathway to see things a bit clearer, if you shift your thinking and push forward with great effort.

If you choose to do something great with your life that is beyond your or you aim to be successful, you will run into times where the rubber meets the road of the road is more than rocky. When the path ahead of you is not easy this means that you have to try even harder.

Do not focus on how things may look in the moment. Do not allow yourself to spiral into an endless emotional roller coaster. Be kind to yourself and know that “this too shall pass”.

Walk onward and know that every step forward or backward (if that is necessary) will be worth it.

As I journey through my life in this season, there is nothing that is easy. In fact, I have questioned this journey a few times, but I know that I will never change my heart or that which I want to do to bless others. Remain true to yourself and do not allow anyone to take you out of normal behavioral pattern.

The goodness of who you are will always shine in the right places. Don’t give up EVER.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Supersede Your Baseline Needs

Posted on September 27, 2021September 27, 2021 by drkaylanallen

For everything that you aim to do in life, I can bet that there are many other things that do not get done because you are (from time to time) too busy doing other things for other people and other reasons. Am I right?

Let’s add on to that bet…do you often find that you are only giving your needs and aims the bare minimum even though you want something great in every area of your life?

Why do we do these things to ourselves and then wonder why we haven’t gotten where we want to be? How can we push through life without ensuring that basic needs and higher goals are given a real chance?

The Basics

When was the last time that you gave yourself the love, time, dedication, and attention that you deserved? How often do you do that? This can be a struggle for many people especially students, those in leadership, parents, caregivers, and healthcare providers. What we have to understand is that we should always come first, even if we are in positions in which we always have to do things for others.

Do you cater to what your physical body needs to be well on a regular basis? It’s easy to ignore simple things like a headache or changes in moods, but what if they mean something more? It is vital that you take care of yourself inside and out as you know your body best. You cannot have the life that you want (not a sustainable one) if you are not being mindful of what you need to be feeding your body.

Do you regularly make time to do the things that you love? Fulfilling your heart’s desires is critical and it starts by feeding your heart and soul that which gives it true joy. There is nothing that you can do in life that will contribute to you ignoring what what gives you joy, peace, and freedom.

Goals

At some point or another, you had a dream or goal…what was/is it? Are you putting the work to make it come to life, piece by piece and day by day? I surely hope that you do not think that you believe that putting in minimal work infrequently is going to make your goals and dreams come to life. You have to be consistent, after all, you deserve to see what you envision become your reality.

Personal Transformation (Life and Business)

How often do you invest in yourself so that you can the next level of yourself? Evolving and becoming a better version of yourself takes time, effort, money, focus, and much effort. There are many things that you will have to do to reach new height; this means you will have to invest in yourself. You need a coach, at every turn of life, that is relatable, educated, in alignment with their goals in their life, and connected to what you want to achieve in your life. You have to do the work inside and out if we want to see change and you want those changes to last.

I have found many times over that I have to continue to analyze where I am in my life because it is how I get re-centered. Understanding the place in time of your current situations help you understand where you want to be. The knowledge of your aims and wants in life is the beginning of taking the necessary steps to make your dreams a reality.

There will always be something else that you need to do. There will always be something or someone else that needs something from you. If you do not take the time to care for yourself in and out, you may be limiting your potential.

Take the time to supersede your baseline needs, and that which you hope for will soon become yours.

Cut out what no longer serves you. Remember that you are human and have needs, emotions, and dreams. To loving be there for someone that is close to you, you have to first be there for yourself. Nothing that you want in life will fall into your life and you will not always know what next steps to take. The key in superseding your baseline needs is to be aware of the facets of your being.

*This element of positivity and these words of wisdom are all about going above and beyond in your life, in healthy and holistic ways, so that you have everything that you want, need, desire, and then some.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

No Path is Straight and Flat

Posted on September 13, 2021September 13, 2021 by drkaylanallen

No matter how we may wish for our lives and the things that we do to be easy, that is not typically the outcome.

In fact, many times in life, no path that we journey through is not straight or flat. There is no direct path to clarity, success, effective leadership, healthy relationships, or sustainable healthcare practices.

There is rarely a blueprint to even the basic levels of things that we need in order to become the next version of ourselves, but that does not mean that we cannot evolve and navigate through sustainable personal transformation. You do not need to be in the perfect life position to become the next version of yourself, but you do have to be in the right mental position.

Following a textbook, findings from evidence-based research, experiences of others, and perspectives of those around you may work for a short while, but soon you will find that it takes a lot more to be successful at every level of your life.

More often than not, one can assume that they know the answer to everything that comes their way, but without dedication to altering thought processes and familiar behaviors, there is no way to perform at the highest levels and find yourself in healthy spaces throughout your life.

People that want the best for their lives in all aspects must come to an awareness that continuous evolution and deep-rooted curiosity are vital. Coaching is an excellent source of initiating and navigating through your next seasons of life.

When was the last time that you analyzed your life as it presently is? No matter when that was, the deeper question is whether or not you were able to understand the truth of the ways that you need to change. Awareness of the need for change and seeking real help is how we move beyond a path toward success in work and life.

At every turn along your path of life, you may need a different viewpoint, clearer perspective, or a little bit more of what makes you unique. So, why not grant yourself exactly what you need. No fears. No doubts. No doing it alone when you know that you need more guidance, clarity, or accountability.

My path in life is anything but straight, flat, clear, or easy; many times it has been difficult to bear. The greatest thing about my path and awareness of its twists and turns is my choice to continue to evolve even when things are not easy.

Choose yourself and your potential over and over again, and you will see that your efforts are always worth it and your bumpy road will lead you where you need to go.

I dare you to put your money, efforts, and time into something that will positively and sustainably change your life from the inside out.

Be blessed and be at peace.

–KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Cancer Sucks: Light Amongst the Shadows

Posted on August 30, 2021August 30, 2021 by drkaylanallen

One of the most difficult things to face in life is an illness.

Whether you are the one facing the illness or someone that you love is the one that is directly impacted, illnesses are so hard to walk through.

While I rarely share some facets of my life, I find that this message is important to share. My fiancé is facing oral cancer. CANCER SUCKS!!! His case is treatable and curable, but to know what is present and what is to come makes things difficult. While many people face cancer, most people are never prepared for it. Nonetheless, I will continue to very present, caring, and supportive with a large dose of hugs, listening ears, and a shoulder to lean on from time to time.

He is being very strong, has a great medical support team, and is being tended to by one of the best cancer centers. There are truly no major worries. He is taking good care of himself (diet and health all-around) and preparing for what is to come in terms of how he will be cured (oral surgery, free fibula surgery, and all). I’m here for the long run and will do everything in my power to be a source of strength, understanding, validation, love, and more through it all. Cancer sucks, but my God is bigger than all things that may have been meant to deter paths and break hearts.

I feel what he is going through, after all we have been together for five and a half years and we are deeply connected.

The whirl of emotions that are connected to cancer and treatment are so multifaceted. There is a roller coaster that is to come, but I am learning the deeper connection between positivity and it’s real meaning especially when things are difficult and beyond our control. I’m human and have my own experiences with this journey, but sometimes it is hard to do the day-to-day basics.

While we all go through so many challenging and heartbreaking things in life, it is so important that we do whatever we can to find the light amongst the shadows along our paths.

There may be days when we cannot process the pain we face when someone else is the one that hurts, but that does not mean that we are not allowed to feel whatever we feel. I’ve felt sad, frustrated, concerned, and worried, but I’ve also felt hope,

Positivity is what we make of it. Life is full of turmoil, joy, sadness, growth, and everything in between, but we can’t allow the difficulties to take over life.

While my other half and I navigate this journey, I’m going to be challenged in many ways and pushed to continue living life and move forward in the coming days, weeks, and months, but God is on my side and faith and hope live and breath at the core at my relationship.

No matter what challenges you may face in life, you can always find a glimmer of hope if you tap into real elements of positivity like the ability to overcome and being mindful of what your heart soul need.

I’m not seeking sympathy or asking anyone for anything as our needs our met and our path is blessed in more ways than we know. Cancer sucks…it just does!

What I aim to do is be real, allow this “experience” to further shape my life and my relationship according to God’s will, and allow myself to feel everything. I understand that my best is good enough and I also know that my emotions are okay.

When you face life’s most difficult battles, I encourage you to just be. I implore you to seek that which you need and be intentional in doing so. Don’t hold in the pain; share it in a safe and non-judgmental place.

Today I am okay, tomorrow I may cry…through it all I will remain true to myself, my feelings, and be a loving and supporting partner in this journey.

I didn’t know how to share this part of my story, but I’m glad that I am glad that I am recording it in my own way (and I will continue to do so).

Be strong when you can and cry when when you must. There is no right or wrong way to navigate through something like what we are facing.

Life is not always pretty, but it is always worth living…so sayeth I.

Today and always it is my hope that you will…

Be blessed and be at peace.

–KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.

A Different Kind of Positivity

Posted on August 16, 2021August 16, 2021 by drkaylanallen

When you think of positivity or see information about it online, it is usually very much full of “fluff”, coated with rainbows, sunshine, and glitter, and centered on good thoughts.

There is more than one way to view positivity, and I like to believe that everyone has a different perception in that area.

Positivity does not have to be everything good, it in fact can be lessons learned, overcoming difficult situations, making the most out of the storms of life, taking time to be still, or enjoying your favorite music. Positivity can be anything that you want it to be, and you have the ability to make it something meaningful and powerful.

It is difficult but far more beneficial to challenge your learned norms of positivity than to float along with ideals of positivity should be for you.

See, no one knows nor will they ever understand what you have to do to find “positivity”. You never owe anyone an explanation of how you are welcoming in true positivity, but it is a good idea to be honest about what real strength means for you.

When I think of positivity, it is all encompassing as life is a source of challenges, wisdom, joy, storms, love, compassion, and everything in between. Positivity is not supposed to be something that is easily tangible or made to be “one size fits all”.

One reason that some people say “good vibes only” is that it can often be difficult to address the “bad vibes” even when there is no ill will present. This is similar to the common answer of “fine” when being asked “how are you doing?” If only we could tap into something greater, deeper, and more curious, the idea of a different kind of positivity would somehow evolve and reign true.

I have had countless experiences of life being difficult ranging from loss and grief to detours of life. Through it all, I have to say that finding a way to see a glimmer of light is the greatest gift in all of life’s storms.

When you find that you are in the midst of life’s happenings, find a way to do what you know feels like positivity.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.

The Truth of Your Life is There

Posted on August 2, 2021August 2, 2021 by drkaylanallen

How many times have you heard someone say something like “My life is cursed” or “I guess there is nothing more to life than what I already have”?

Some of this thinking is the reason as to why people see the outcomes that they see in their lives.

Think about it for a second, when you last put focus, effort, faith, and hope into something what happened? Nine times out of ten, I bet that something good came from it, even if it wasn’t what you wanted or in the time that you wanted it.

I have even fallen victim of feeling like I am stuck and nothing is happening. I let those thoughts linger for a bit and then challenged them.

There is a song called “The Curse” in the movie Rigoletto and there is so much truth in the lyrics. All in all the message in the song is that the curses and pitfalls of our lives we often try to pin on others or certain circumstances when really the power to change it all is living inside of us.

Walking through the dark is difficult until you turn on the light, and this is how it feels to find the truth of your life.

Sure some days may seem so bleak, dreary, or even frustrating, but this doesn’t mean that life ends there. This means that there is something to be grateful for if only we adjust our line of sight.

Think about a dark night when there is to be fireworks, if you only focus on the darkness that is behind you, how could you possibly see something beautiful that is happening right before your eyes?

The truth is there, you just have to want to see it and be able to rationalize with the present.

Expectations of the future are more that bits of luck or dreams, they are factual and must proven. You are the only one that can prove that your goals and dreams are worth reaching.

If you ever feel like you need inspiration, ask someone who has overcome something that once seemed heavy.

After you know the truth, know that the “curse” or “bad luck” in your mind can be unlocked by freeing yourself and clinging to what you know to be true.

Look at all that you have overcome and all that you are. After that, I guarantee that your view of what may be daunting now, will seem a little lighter.

Your greatness is coming. Even if it seems like you have been waiting for a long time, know that God’s timing is perfect. Just be sure that you are showing up to every day ready for what is soon to come.

Take it from me, I’m fighting through countless headaches and migraines and I have been for months. I am tackling school, a doctoral practicum/internship, my business, family, and all life throws my way. I have to be reminded from time to time that I am doing many things through my pain and that is something to be proud of.

Who are you?

What is your purpose?

What brings you joy?

What lights up your life?

What are you good at?

Where does your passion lie?

What makes you stand out in the crowd?

Go find your truth and never give up on yourself. Keep pushing forward.

The next version of you is around the corner. The next level of your best is yet to come, so don’t stop now.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.

Everything Matters

Posted on July 19, 2021July 19, 2021 by drkaylanallen

For everything that makes your life what it is, there are many things that created it.

We are multifaceted beings with wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions, and life circumstances. We are our culture, language, character, identity, love, education, and so much more.

The way that we learn challenges barriers that may present themselves in the future. Education shapes the way that we think, process information, and make decisions. My continuous educational/scholarly aims are not in vain, nor are yours, they are a part of the journey towards what we desire. Education is a tool that you can use and add to your toolbox because it can serve many purposes in this thing we call life.

I don’t know about you, but I love to read and also don’t have the time to do so. Reading is a part of the way access internalized information, findings, and wisdom. While I may not always have the time to hold a physical book and read, I make the most of reading my using reading apps, and online extensions to speed up the rate of audio readings. (Try it, I promise it is a game changer!)

Choices we make throughout the day in our diets affect our energy, weight, bodies, and mentality. Eating well is a significant part of a holistic life that is centered on health and wellness. We can use a bit of fine tuning when it comes to what we consume every day. Taking the time to learn about what foods are made of impact our lives, so don’t take that for granted.

The places that you go and people that you interact with also shape your life, so pay close attention and lead an intentional life.

While we all have different dreams and goals, the way we reach them is very similar. Those who aim to succeed, be sustainable, and love what they are doing tap into their unique abilities, challenge norms, and find ways to bridge gaps in the world.

Self-care is a big topic that is often discussed but rarely applied. Self-care is a 3D opportunity that you must honor and cherish because if you aren’t taking care of yourself, how can you help others or spread love?

Wise counsel is an essential part of your growth. You do not have all of the answers, and you may not always see the gaps in your life that you need to address in order to be successful. Having a coach on your side is a necessary part of every level of your life.

How you lead in life and business impacts everyone around you and everyone that you serve. Get wise about this, and do not assume that you always know what to do.

I could go on an on about the many facets of our lives to also include exercise, water consumption, stress, family, love life, work-life balance and much more.

Just because you have always done something one way, that does not mean that you have to remain the same.

I hope you understand where I am going with this!

Everything that you do now and apply to your life will be connected to and will impact that which is yet to come.

Think about your actions and behaviors. Be willing to address biases, pitfalls, blind spots, and difficult things about yourself. Don’t neglect anything connected to your life and well-being.

We are ever-evolving individuals, but the way that evolve is up to us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving futures.

Lead Like You

Posted on July 5, 2021July 11, 2021 by drkaylanallen

At one time or another, everyone is a leader. The challenge for many of us is that we don’t always know how or when to allow our leadership to also resonate with or amplify our identity and unique abilities.

Sure you could lead like the person that inspires you. You could lead like someone who is well-known as a change maker. You could even present yourself as though you are astute, well-respected, and clever. However, if you take on any of those roles or identities are you

Making the change that you were capable of making in the world.

When is the last time that you took inventory on your identity character values morals believes and any other identifiers?

Reason with yourself and grasp the truth in this: The only way that you can achieve greatness while uplifting and equitably serving others is by looking inside of yourself.

It’s easy to act like someone else, but it will not pay off or prove that you have what it takes to make a sustainable difference in the world around you.

Be unique, empathetic, joyful, intuitive, helpful, compassionate, and weird. The world needs you, not a replica of someone else.

Create a world where you can “lead like you” and watch how the reward reshapes hearts, minds, and souls all over the world.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner