©KayLaN.Allen
This is one that truly hits home for me, as I endured physical and mental abuse in my past. I saw this blog as an opportunity to be completely open and vulnerable with you. I know that you may be experiencing this now, or may be moving beyond that pain and I am going to give you some insight, love, and support during this time.
Feeling pain from physical abuse, mental/emotional abuse, or verbal abuse can hurt and plague your life with stress, anxiety, depression, and countless triggers. I know your pain and I know your feelings, and I want to help you get through it and help you take back your life.
If you are still in an abusive relationship/friendship or in a seemingly abuse work relationship, you need to take inventory on your life.
Abusive Personal Relationships
Intimate: Although a person may say that they did not mean it or it will not happen again, remember that it should not have happened at all. Don’t let them take you out of character or make you change your view of yourself. Remember that you are made in God’s image and you can be anything that you want to be in life; don’t let anyone’s thoughts/behaviors hold you hostage. If someone says that no one else will want you, remember that there are billions of other people in the world and if you were only meant to be with one person you would have been assigned them/physically connected to them at birth. You are handsome/You are beautiful and there are many others who would feel lucky to have someone like you to love because of all that you have to offer (internally) and your wonderful spirit.
People that hurt us with no remorse, do not need to be in our lives. Fight back in whatever way you can to leave; analyze your situation and be prepared to leave safely. Call the police and report it. If you have a friend/family member you can trust have them help you move out. I promise, no matter how much your partner may pull you away from your family/friends someone still cares and loves you.
A person should not speak negatively to you: yelling at you, cursing at you, calling you out of your name, etc. If your significant other is showing you signs of a high temper, uncontrollable anger/behavior, pay attention and know that you cannot change someone who does not see a problem with what they are doing. Even if they say that it is not their normal behavior and they do not know where it came from, know that their words are more than likely not the truth. Anger doesn’t come out of nowhere, nor does abuse. Being under the influence is not an excuse, either. Pay attention and believe what you are shown.
Be mindful of patterns.
Never forget: You did not make them do it.
There are foundations, organizations, shelters, etc. to support you if you need it. If you need help finding one, let me know and I will assist you in every way humanly possible. I care and I want to help you.
Friends
Yes, friends can abuse you. If they make fun of you “jokingly”, use you, only call when they need something, take and never give, etc. they do not need to be in your life. People will only do what they are allowed to do. If your “friend” is only there for selfish reasons, show them the nearest exit. Stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve or leave if it is not within your friendship. Be kind and still pay attention; do not be blinded by history or false sense of friendship.
Work
If your superiors/coworkers are using you for their benefit and do not support you, encourage you, offer you room for growth, etc. you may not belong there. You have to realize that you have special gifts and talents that you can offer the team/business and those gifts have a significant value.
Do not let others misuse you, abuse you, cause you pain, break your spirit, degrade you, attack you, etc. If either person in a relationship is not wanting to be in the relationship anymore, step away. If problems only get bigger and voices only get louder, it is time to go.
Brokenness can be re-shaped. You must be able to look within yourself and see your value and your worth (yes, the two are different). You have something special about yourself that cannot be taken away from you and that is what you must focus on when overcoming these abusive relationships.
You need to do something with your time that is productive. Get back in school, get a hobby, do volunteer work; do all of these things for yourself. You can heal inside, but it will take time. Yoga, meditation, silent retreats, sound psychological counseling, prayer, support groups, etc. can all be amazingly beneficial things for you to do. You have to do what works for you, and you do not need someone to do these things with you.
The most important thing for you to do after you have gotten away from your abusive past is to not look back. You left for a reason and you faced something that you should have never had to deal with. I know that there may be a lingering feeling trying to remember a piece of good/some happy memories, but I promise you it is not worth revisiting the pain.
You have a strength inside of yourself that you must tap into, and believe me you can do it.
The Universe nor God want you to endure abuse of any sort, so it is time to heal as best as you can.
Psalms 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” You are hurting or you are still hurting, but know that there is a healing unlike any other coming your way. Seek help and pray about your situation. There is a better life/person for you. This wound needs more than a band-aid, this is definitely a surgery type of situation, so do what it takes to overcome and get stronger. God can heal you in a way that no other can; whatever higher power you connect to is with you and cares about you. You can look inside of yourself, gain wisdom/knowledge via teachings, meditation, and yoga to re-train your brain. Whatever way works for you, you need to do it starting right now.
Isaiah 40:29-31
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” You will heal, with time and faith. It will take effort, simply waiting and believing will not get you out of your situation; you have to muster up the strength and reach inside of yourself to overcome abuse. Once you find that peace and your happiness, never let anyone take it away.
The truth of the matter is that yes you may currently be a victim, but you can become a survivor and a significant blessing with someone else, with new friends (or none at all) or by working elsewhere. You may feel weak right now but take it from a survivor-turned-warrior, you will find your strength.
Remember, you are not alone. I’ll listen to you, cry with you, pray with you, empower you, and help you in any way that I can.
Be blessed and be at peace.
#KayLasPositivityCorner
***Health Spotlight***
STD’s the prevalence of is increasing with time. Please remember that your body is your own and you have the option to say no and that is good enough; if someone sees a problem with that they can leave and you can tell them you are no longer interested. According to the CDC: there were approximately 2.3 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea & syphilis last year (more than 200,000) than the previous year. Get tested regularly, even if you are not in a relationship. There is free help at most community health clinics. Do not be scared to seek help, if you need it. You can experience many horrible symptoms and beyond if you do not get medical help. Protect yourself and others by doing the right thing.
This is one that truly hits home for me, as I endured physical and mental abuse in my past. I saw this blog as an opportunity to be completely open and vulnerable with you. I know that you may be experiencing this now, or may be moving beyond that pain and I am going to give you some insight, love, and support during this time.
Feeling pain from physical abuse, mental/emotional abuse, or verbal abuse can hurt and plague your life with stress, anxiety, depression, and countless triggers. I know your pain and I know your feelings, and I want to help you get through it and help you take back your life.
If you are still in an abusive relationship/friendship or in a seemingly abuse work relationship, you need to take inventory on your life.
Abusive Personal Relationships
Intimate: Although a person may say that they did not mean it or it will not happen again, remember that it should not have happened at all. Don’t let them take you out of character or make you change your view of yourself. Remember that you are made in God’s image and you can be anything that you want to be in life; don’t let anyone’s thoughts/behaviors hold you hostage. If someone says that no one else will want you, remember that there are billions of other people in the world and if you were only meant to be with one person you would have been assigned them/physically connected to them at birth. You are handsome/You are beautiful and there are many others who would feel lucky to have someone like you to love because of all that you have to offer (internally) and your wonderful spirit.
People that hurt us with no remorse, do not need to be in our lives. Fight back in whatever way you can to leave; analyze your situation and be prepared to leave safely. Call the police and report it. If you have a friend/family member you can trust have them help you move out. I promise, no matter how much your partner may pull you away from your family/friends someone still cares and loves you.
A person should not speak negatively to you: yelling at you, cursing at you, calling you out of your name, etc. If your significant other is showing you signs of a high temper, uncontrollable anger/behavior, pay attention and know that you cannot change someone who does not see a problem with what they are doing. Even if they say that it is not their normal behavior and they do not know where it came from, know that their words are more than likely not the truth. Anger doesn’t come out of nowhere, nor does abuse. Being under the influence is not an excuse, either. Pay attention and believe what you are shown.
Be mindful of patterns.
Never forget: You did not make them do it.
There are foundations, organizations, shelters, etc. to support you if you need it. If you need help finding one, let me know and I will assist you in every way humanly possible. I care and I want to help you.
Friends
Yes, friends can abuse you. If they make fun of you “jokingly”, use you, only call when they need something, take and never give, etc. they do not need to be in your life. People will only do what they are allowed to do. If your “friend” is only there for selfish reasons, show them the nearest exit. Stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve or leave if it is not within your friendship. Be kind and still pay attention; do not be blinded by history or false sense of friendship.
Work
If your superiors/coworkers are using you for their benefit and do not support you, encourage you, offer you room for growth, etc. you may not belong there. You have to realize that you have special gifts and talents that you can offer the team/business and those gifts have a significant value.
Do not let others misuse you, abuse you, cause you pain, break your spirit, degrade you, attack you, etc. If either person in a relationship is not wanting to be in the relationship anymore, step away. If problems only get bigger and voices only get louder, it is time to go.
Brokenness can be re-shaped. You must be able to look within yourself and see your value and your worth (yes, the two are different). You have something special about yourself that cannot be taken away from you and that is what you must focus on when overcoming these abusive relationships.
You need to do something with your time that is productive. Get back in school, get a hobby, do volunteer work; do all of these things for yourself. You can heal inside, but it will take time. Yoga, meditation, silent retreats, sound psychological counseling, prayer, support groups, etc. can all be amazingly beneficial things for you to do. You have to do what works for you, and you do not need someone to do these things with you.
The most important thing for you to do after you have gotten away from your abusive past is to not look back. You left for a reason and you faced something that you should have never had to deal with. I know that there may be a lingering feeling trying to remember a piece of good/some happy memories, but I promise you it is not worth revisiting the pain.
You have a strength inside of yourself that you must tap into, and believe me you can do it.
The Universe nor God want you to endure abuse of any sort, so it is time to heal as best as you can.
Psalms 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” You are hurting or you are still hurting, but know that there is a healing unlike any other coming your way. Seek help and pray about your situation. There is a better life/person for you. This wound needs more than a band-aid, this is definitely a surgery type of situation, so do what it takes to overcome and get stronger. God can heal you in a way that no other can; whatever higher power you connect to is with you and cares about you. You can look inside of yourself, gain wisdom/knowledge via teachings, meditation, and yoga to re-train your brain. Whatever way works for you, you need to do it starting right now.
Isaiah 40:29-31
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” You will heal, with time and faith. It will take effort, simply waiting and believing will not get you out of your situation; you have to muster up the strength and reach inside of yourself to overcome abuse. Once you find that peace and your happiness, never let anyone take it away.
The truth of the matter is that yes you may currently be a victim, but you can become a survivor and a significant blessing with someone else, with new friends (or none at all) or by working elsewhere. You may feel weak right now but take it from a survivor-turned-warrior, you will find your strength.
Remember, you are not alone. I’ll listen to you, cry with you, pray with you, empower you, and help you in any way that I can.
Be blessed and be at peace.
#KayLasPositivityCorner
***Health Spotlight***
STD’s the prevalence of is increasing with time. Please remember that your body is your own and you have the option to say no and that is good enough; if someone sees a problem with that they can leave and you can tell them you are no longer interested. According to the CDC: there were approximately 2.3 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea & syphilis last year (more than 200,000) than the previous year. Get tested regularly, even if you are not in a relationship. There is free help at most community health clinics. Do not be scared to seek help, if you need it. You can experience many horrible symptoms and beyond if you do not get medical help. Protect yourself and others by doing the right thing.
Abuse, Empowerment, Epidemiology, Global Health, Healing, Overcoming, Public Health, Relationships, Strength