Posts by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

Did you know that what we feed our insides generates a world outside of our bodies?

Every mixed family has experiences of food that serve a plate of nourishment, no matter what the spread of colors and flavors present. 

This nourishment is the very desire of our souls, and it can only be filled with what our “mixed” taste desires. 

Nourishment to our souls is colorful, confusing, bold, and creative, so why should we silence that which our hearts and souls need?

Fine-tuning what our hearts and souls desire is a journey through life that continues to be shaped and reshaped, but it is always worth it. 

You must tailor, cut, patch, and adjust what you nourish your life with – this is not just about food; it is about what we feed our minds as well. 

Grow nourished inside, as you have the flavors, spices, and recipes of every element of your mixed life – (open the cabinet, my dear).

Sometimes we may need something to show us love, while other times we may need something that encourages the very fibers of our being. 

No matter how you nourish yourself, be okay with what that looks like, as others may judge that which feeds your mixed soul.

–Dr. KayLa N. Allen‘s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

 

Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program.

Level Up!
Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

Has someone ever asked you why you dare to be so boldy mixed in what you are doing?

Occasionally people may say that you have to behave one way or another, but please know that their words are surely not true. 

If you decide that you want to dress a certain way that is culturally connected, embrace that because it makes you happy. 

Never change yourself to fit in with others or justify your reason for being you.

Your life is mixed and nothing can change that, but that does not mean that you have to alter your identity in any way. 

You have the right to be you through and through, no excuses, reasons, or definitions required. 

Be bold and okay with being all that you are.

The right to be you is not defined by the voice or views of others. 

Be you in every way possible and your joy will never escape you.

–Dr. KayLa N. Allen‘s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

 Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program.

Level Up!
Cancer Sucks: Light Amongst the Shadows

Cancer Sucks: Light Amongst the Shadows

Posted on by drkaylanallen

One of the most difficult things to face in life is an illness. 

Whether you are the one facing the illness or someone that you love is the one that is directly impacted, illnesses are so hard to walk through.

While I rarely share some facets of my life, I find that this message is important to share. My fiancé is facing oral cancer. CANCER SUCKS!!! His case is treatable and curable, but to know what is present and what is to come makes things difficult. While many people face cancer, most people are never prepared for it. Nonetheless, I will continue to very present, caring, and supportive with a large dose of hugs, listening ears, and a shoulder to lean on from time to time.

He is being very strong, has a great medical support team, and is being tended to by one of the best cancer centers.  There are truly no major worries. He is taking good care of himself (diet and health all-around) and preparing for what is to come in terms of how he will be cured (oral surgery, free fibula surgery, and all). I’m here for the long run and will do everything in my power to be a source of strength, understanding, validation, love, and more through it all. Cancer sucks, but my God is bigger than all things that may have been meant to deter paths and break hearts.

I feel what he is going through, after all we have been together for five and a half years and we are deeply connected.

The whirl of emotions that are connected to cancer and treatment are so multifaceted. There is a roller coaster that is to come, but I am learning the deeper connection between positivity and it’s real meaning especially when things are difficult and beyond our control. I’m human and have my own experiences with this journey, but sometimes it is hard to do the day-to-day basics. 

While we all go through so many challenging and heartbreaking things in life, it is so important that we do whatever we can to find the light amongst the shadows along our paths.

There may be days when we cannot process the pain we face when someone else is the one that hurts, but that does not mean that we are not allowed to feel whatever we feel. I’ve felt sad, frustrated, concerned, and worried, but I’ve also felt hope, 

Positivity is what we make of it. Life is full of turmoil, joy, sadness, growth, and everything in between, but we can’t allow the difficulties to take over life.

While my other half and I navigate this journey, I’m going to be challenged in many ways and pushed to continue living life and move forward in the coming days, weeks, and months, but God is on my side and faith and hope live and breath at the core at my relationship.

No matter what challenges you may face in life, you can always find a glimmer of hope if you tap into real elements of positivity like the ability to overcome and being mindful of what your heart soul need.

I’m not seeking sympathy or asking anyone for anything as our needs our met and our path is blessed in more ways than we know.  Cancer sucks…it just does!

What I aim to do is be real, allow this “experience” to further shape my life and my relationship according to God’s will, and allow myself to feel everything. I understand that my best is good enough and I also know that my emotions are okay.

When you face life’s most difficult battles, I encourage you to just be. I implore you to seek that which you need and be intentional in doing so. Don’t hold in the pain; share it in a safe and non-judgmental place.

Today I am okay, tomorrow I may cry…through it all I will remain true to myself, my feelings, and be a loving and supporting partner in this journey. 

I didn’t know how to share this part of my story, but I’m glad that I am glad that I am recording it in my own way (and I will continue to do so).

Be strong when you can and cry when when you must. There is no right or wrong way to navigate through something like what we are facing.

Life is not always pretty, but it is always worth living…so sayeth I.

Today and always it is my hope that you will…

Be blessed and be at peace.

–KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.

Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

What is the value of your mixed existence?

Do you measure your existence in pearls, dollars, and gold?

Do you measure your life in your stories that are yet to be told?

Will you still value your mixed identity when your legend grows old?

You are more than money, a pay-off, or the dangling carrot that others may try to win you over with, so hold on to your true value – that which lives and breathes inside of you.

Value your existence in language, impact, education, wisdom shared, love, joy, and persistence.

Discount that which no longer holds value, because you are worthy of life, growth, and change.

If you could tally up the value of your existence, would you include the price that was paid for your mixed existence?

Can you love yourself beyond the value that others say that you have? Yes, so please do.

–Dr. KayLa N. Allen‘s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

 

Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program.

Level Up!
A Different Kind of Positivity

A Different Kind of Positivity

Posted on by drkaylanallen

When you think of positivity or see information about it online, it is usually very much full of “fluff”, coated with rainbows, sunshine, and glitter, and centered on good thoughts.

There is more than one way to view positivity, and I like to believe that everyone has a different perception in that area.

Positivity does not have to be everything good, it in fact can be lessons learned, overcoming difficult situations, making the most out of the storms of life, taking time to be still, or enjoying your favorite music. Positivity can be anything that you want it to be, and you have the ability to make it something meaningful and powerful.

It is difficult but far more beneficial to challenge your learned norms of positivity than to float along with ideals of positivity should be for you.

See, no one knows nor will they ever understand what you have to do to find “positivity”. You never owe anyone an explanation of how you are welcoming in true positivity, but it is a good idea to be honest about what real strength means for you.

When I think of positivity, it is all encompassing as life is a source of challenges, wisdom, joy, storms, love, compassion, and everything in between. Positivity is not supposed to be something that is easily tangible or made to be “one size fits all”. 

One reason that some people say “good vibes only” is that it can often be difficult to address the “bad vibes” even when there is no ill will present. This is similar to the common answer of “fine” when being asked “how are you doing?” If only we could tap into something greater, deeper, and more curious, the idea of a different kind of positivity would somehow evolve and reign true.

I have had countless experiences of life being difficult ranging from loss and grief to detours of life. Through it all, I have to say that finding a way to see a glimmer of light is the greatest gift in all of life’s storms.

When you find that you are in the midst of life’s happenings, find a way to do what you know feels like positivity. 

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.

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The Truth of Your Life is There

The Truth of Your Life is There

Posted on by drkaylanallen

How many times have you heard someone say something like “My life is cursed” or “I guess there is nothing more to life than what I already have”?

Some of this thinking is the reason as to why people see the outcomes that they see in their lives.

Think about it for a second, when you last put focus, effort, faith, and hope into something what happened? Nine times out of ten, I bet that something good came from it, even if it wasn’t what you wanted or in the time that you wanted it.

I have even fallen victim of feeling like I am stuck and nothing is happening. I let those thoughts linger for a bit and then challenged them.

There is a song called “The Curse” in the movie Rigoletto and there is so much truth in the lyrics. All in all the message in the song is that the curses and pitfalls of our lives we often try to pin on others or certain circumstances when really the power to change it all is living inside of us.

Walking through the dark is difficult until you turn on the light, and this is how it feels to find the truth of your life.

Sure some days may seem so bleak, dreary, or even frustrating, but this doesn’t mean that life ends there. This means that there is something to be grateful for if only we adjust our line of sight.

Think about a dark night when there is to be fireworks, if you only focus on the darkness that is behind you, how could you possibly see something beautiful that is happening right before your eyes?

The truth is there, you just have to want to see it and be able to rationalize with the present.

Expectations of the future are more that bits of luck or dreams, they are factual and must proven. You are the only one that can prove that your goals and dreams are worth reaching.

If you ever feel like you need inspiration, ask someone who has overcome something that once seemed heavy.

After you know the truth, know that the “curse” or “bad luck” in your mind can be unlocked by freeing yourself and clinging to what you know to be true.

Look at all that you have overcome and all that you are. After that, I guarantee that your view of what may be daunting now, will seem a little lighter.

Your greatness is coming. Even if it seems like you have been waiting for a long time, know that God’s timing is perfect. Just be sure that you are showing up to every day ready for what is soon to come.

Take it from me, I’m fighting through countless headaches and migraines and I have been for months. I am tackling school, a doctoral practicum/internship, my business, family, and all life throws my way. I have to be reminded from time to time that I am doing many things through my pain and that is something to be proud of.

Who are you?

What is your purpose?

What brings you joy?

What lights up your life?

What are you good at?

Where does your passion lie?

What makes you stand out in the crowd?

Go find your truth and never give up on yourself. Keep pushing forward.

The next version of you is around the corner. The next level of your best is yet to come, so don’t stop now.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.

Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

Have you ever stepped out on faith, hope, or a dream only to fall on your face with the world watching you?

Walking through a path of life can be misguided by falls, stumbles, and confusion.

A scrape on the knee or bruise of our mixed lives can lead to a feeling of displacement, brokenness, or loneliness in a world that doesn’t understand us. 

Even if you do fall, your chance to reshape your life is the cornerstone of the home (success) that you are creating in mind.

The fall is our chance to reclaim the claim that which our ancestors left behind for us. 

Beautiful being, you are leading the life that will require you to fall here and there, but that is okay because your heart will always remain after the fall. 

Take the knee-torn jeans of your life and create a quilt of your masterfully created life.

Fall today or stumble tomorrow, your life does not have to be filled with sorrow. 

You can change the world if only you get back up and try.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” Letters

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Other related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

 

Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program.

Level Up!
Everything Matters

Everything Matters

Posted on by drkaylanallen

For everything that makes your life what it is, there are many things that created it.

We are multifaceted beings with wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions, and life circumstances. We are our culture, language, character, identity, love, education, and so much more.

The way that we learn challenges barriers that may present themselves in the future. Education shapes the way that we think, process information, and make decisions. My continuous educational/scholarly aims are not in vain, nor are yours, they are a part of the journey towards what we desire. Education is a tool that you can use and add to your toolbox because it can serve many purposes in this thing we call life.

I don’t know about you, but I love to read and also don’t have the time to do so. Reading is a part of the way access internalized information, findings, and wisdom. While I may not always have the time to hold a physical book and read, I make the most of reading my using reading apps, and online extensions to speed up the rate of audio readings. (Try it, I promise it is a game changer!)

Choices we make throughout the day in our diets affect our energy, weight, bodies, and mentality. Eating well is a significant part of a holistic life that is centered on health and wellness. We can use a bit of fine tuning when it comes to what we consume every day. Taking the time to learn about what foods are made of impact our lives, so don’t take that for granted.

The places that you go and people that you interact with also shape your life, so pay close attention and lead an intentional life.

While we all have different dreams and goals, the way we reach them is very similar. Those who aim to succeed, be sustainable, and love what they are doing tap into their unique abilities, challenge norms, and find ways to bridge gaps in the world. 

Self-care is a big topic that is often discussed but rarely applied. Self-care is a 3D opportunity that you must honor and cherish because if you aren’t taking care of yourself, how can you help others or spread love? 

Wise counsel is an essential part of your growth. You do not have all of the answers, and you may not always see the gaps in your life that you need to address in order to be successful. Having a coach on your side is a necessary part of every level of your life.

How you lead in life and business impacts everyone around you and everyone that you serve. Get wise about this, and do not assume that you always know what to do.

I could go on an on about the many facets of our lives to also include exercise, water consumption, stress, family, love life, work-life balance and much more.

Just because you have always done something one way, that does not mean that you have to remain the same.

I hope you understand where I am going with this!

Everything that you do now and apply to your life will be connected to and will impact that which is yet to come.

Think about your actions and behaviors. Be willing to address biases, pitfalls, blind spots, and difficult things about yourself. Don’t neglect anything connected to your life and well-being.

We are ever-evolving individuals, but the way that evolve is up to us.

 Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral  (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving futures.

Dear Mixed Girl

Dear Mixed Girl

Posted on by drkaylanallen

Dear Mixed Girl,

Has there ever been a time when you were attracted to something you wanted out of life then you faced immediate rejection? 

We are often walking through life in a way that is filled with fear, however, we cannot let that break down the very figments of our dreams. 

People will reject you and try to break your hope, but you cannot allow that to happen. 

Your attraction to a passion, dream, art, or space of creativity is for your exploration, presentation, and love. 

You may look different than others but you are still allowed to dream. 

There are not enough rejections in the world to break that which you are naturally attracted to. 

Your heart, soul, culture, and blood fill you with something so special that only you can do – never forget that. 

When you believe in yourself, use the rejections and dismissals to make a world that allows you to be expressive and be free. 

There will never be a time that you have to become less than what you beautifully are.

-Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” letters

The “Dear Mixed Girl” letters are a series from Dr. KayLa N. Allen that share experiences, motivation, and compassion. These letters are linked to the “Dear Mixed Girl, What is Your Identity?” coaching program. Related messaging that Dr. KayLa creates is to re-shape the way that mixed girls and women think about themselves and how they contribute to the world by being themselves.

No “mixed” experience is the same, but many parts of the biracial/multi-ethnic experience are similar. It is in these similarities that we can find individuals truths and ways in which we can become the best version of ourselves regardless of what the world may show us.

Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s greatest hope is to share with others her truth and what lives inside of her so that there can be sustainable changes and powerful impact in those living the life of a “mixed” girl.

If you or the mixed girl in your life felt the impact of this letter, read more empowering messages and find out how you can transform yourself, be proud of who you are, and lead a unique and joyful life via Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s coaching programs.

Find out more about Dr. KayLa N. Allen’s “Dear Mixed Girl” coaching program!

 
Level Up!
Lead Like You

Lead Like You

Posted on by drkaylanallen
At one time or another, everyone is a leader. The challenge for many of us is that we don’t always know how or when to allow our leadership to also resonate with or amplify our identity and unique abilities.

Sure you could lead like the person that inspires you. You could lead like someone who is well-known as a change maker. You could even present yourself as though you are astute, well-respected, and clever. However, if you take on any of those roles or identities are you  

Making the change that you were capable of making in the world.

When is the last time that you took inventory on your identity character values morals believes and any other identifiers?

Reason with yourself and grasp the truth in this: The only way that you can achieve greatness while uplifting and equitably serving others is by looking inside of yourself. 

It’s easy to act like someone else, but it will not pay off or prove that you have what it takes to make a sustainable difference in the world around you. 

Be unique, empathetic, joyful, intuitive, helpful, compassionate, and weird. The world needs you, not a replica of someone else.

Create a world where you can “lead like you” and watch how the reward reshapes hearts, minds, and souls all over the world.

Be blessed and be at peace.

-KayLa’s Positivity Corner

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