Too often we use the word “friend” too loosely. Have you ever taken the time to analyze and process what friendship means for you?
There are several questions that you need to ask yourself before you consider someone to be your friend. There are even more questions that you need to ask yourself if you are going to treat someone like they are your friend.
Consider these questions:
Who are your friends?
When you communicate, what are you talking about?
Do your “friends” only call you when they need something?
Do these people you consider loved ones only talk to you when they want to be applauded?
Have you only started considering someone to be your “friend” because they have been around for years?
Are you “friends” with someone and feel obligated to do everything they invite you to because it is “political”?
Do you find yourself always starting a conversation with your “friends” and they never call, text, or message you first (one-sided friendships)?
Do you allow your “friends” to mistreat you intentionally?
Are you fearful of helping your “friend” grow and evolve?
Are people your “friends” because they have done (or still do) something for you?
If after you explore all of these questions, and any others they may pop up, you feel odd, confused, frustrated, worried or angry, understand that there are several serious red flags that you need to pay attention to.
A lot of times we get into the mindset that everyone is a friend if we like them, relate to them, spend time with them, or gain something from the relationship.
If you have a person that you call your friend, you need to understand what that means for you and how it impacts your life.
Over the years I have lost lots of people that I labeled as “friends”, but if I did not go through that phase I would not have a new definition of friendship or the necessary and present qualities of friends that I have now.
Understand that you do not have to call everyone your friend. You deserve high quality friendships that are fruitful, logical, healthy, and respectful.
Be blessed and be at peace.
KayLa’s Positivity Corner
Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a doctoral candidate, motivational speaker at the national level, thought leader, transformational coach, and expert on shaping thriving futures.