One of the most difficult things to face in life is an illness.
Whether you are the one facing the illness or someone that you love is the one that is directly impacted, illnesses are so hard to walk through.
While I rarely share some facets of my life, I find that this message is important to share. My fiancé is facing oral cancer. CANCER SUCKS!!! His case is treatable and curable, but to know what is present and what is to come makes things difficult. While many people face cancer, most people are never prepared for it. Nonetheless, I will continue to very present, caring, and supportive with a large dose of hugs, listening ears, and a shoulder to lean on from time to time.
He is being very strong, has a great medical support team, and is being tended to by one of the best cancer centers. There are truly no major worries. He is taking good care of himself (diet and health all-around) and preparing for what is to come in terms of how he will be cured (oral surgery, free fibula surgery, and all). I’m here for the long run and will do everything in my power to be a source of strength, understanding, validation, love, and more through it all. Cancer sucks, but my God is bigger than all things that may have been meant to deter paths and break hearts.
I feel what he is going through, after all we have been together for five and a half years and we are deeply connected.
The whirl of emotions that are connected to cancer and treatment are so multifaceted. There is a roller coaster that is to come, but I am learning the deeper connection between positivity and it’s real meaning especially when things are difficult and beyond our control. I’m human and have my own experiences with this journey, but sometimes it is hard to do the day-to-day basics.
While we all go through so many challenging and heartbreaking things in life, it is so important that we do whatever we can to find the light amongst the shadows along our paths.
There may be days when we cannot process the pain we face when someone else is the one that hurts, but that does not mean that we are not allowed to feel whatever we feel. I’ve felt sad, frustrated, concerned, and worried, but I’ve also felt hope,
Positivity is what we make of it. Life is full of turmoil, joy, sadness, growth, and everything in between, but we can’t allow the difficulties to take over life.
While my other half and I navigate this journey, I’m going to be challenged in many ways and pushed to continue living life and move forward in the coming days, weeks, and months, but God is on my side and faith and hope live and breath at the core at my relationship.
No matter what challenges you may face in life, you can always find a glimmer of hope if you tap into real elements of positivity like the ability to overcome and being mindful of what your heart soul need.
I’m not seeking sympathy or asking anyone for anything as our needs our met and our path is blessed in more ways than we know. Cancer sucks…it just does!
What I aim to do is be real, allow this “experience” to further shape my life and my relationship according to God’s will, and allow myself to feel everything. I understand that my best is good enough and I also know that my emotions are okay.
When you face life’s most difficult battles, I encourage you to just be. I implore you to seek that which you need and be intentional in doing so. Don’t hold in the pain; share it in a safe and non-judgmental place.
Today I am okay, tomorrow I may cry…through it all I will remain true to myself, my feelings, and be a loving and supporting partner in this journey.
I didn’t know how to share this part of my story, but I’m glad that I am glad that I am recording it in my own way (and I will continue to do so).
Be strong when you can and cry when when you must. There is no right or wrong way to navigate through something like what we are facing.
Life is not always pretty, but it is always worth living…so sayeth I.
Today and always it is my hope that you will…
Be blessed and be at peace.
Dr. KayLa N. Allen is a Doctoral (DHA) Candidate, National Motivational Speaker, Thought Leader, Transformational Coach, and Expert on Shaping Thriving Futures.